DID YOU WAKE up this morning feeling sort of… empty inside?
With a sense that somehow -beyond the usual Monday morning misery – there was a yawning void at the heart of yourself?
That’s probably because the third season of Love/Hate finished last night. But the season finale was an absolute cracker. Here’s what we saw:
1. Epic opening montage
No more of the moody landscape shots – this time it’s all action. Darren’s got a gun:
but the IRA have got bigger ones:
Nidge has got the fear, and a bulletproof vest:
and Aido is still annoyed over his budgie:
2. To be a proper IRA leader…
… you need to suit a nice set of overalls.
Top marks, Dano. Well done.
3. Nidge keeps his cash under his wife’s knickers
The wardrobe! They’ll never look here.
4. There must be trouble
Because Darren’s got his hood up indoors. We’d make him leave it on the porch in a bucket of Cillit Bang ourselves, but whatever.
5. Are the IRA intimidating much?
They’re coming. Holy God. *runs to bathroom*
6. Luckily, Darren is pretty handy with a shooter
And he’s pretty much seen off the entire IRA. That or they caught the bang off his hoodie.
It’s unfortunate that he’s managed to off Lizzie’s only remaining brother in the process.
OK, let’s take a break. Hands up who was making this face at the telly right about now:
7. Gangsters do not respect hospital rules
Smoking in hospital? Is there NOTHING Nidge will not stoop to?
8. Dano enjoys a nice rock shandy
Nothing says “I’m a murderous psychopath” like a nice rock shandy.
9. There’s a kiddie slide in Tony’s garden
Revealed while Nidge is being taken in for interrogation. I wonder does Tony play on it much?
10. When in doubt, say a Hail Mary
The lesson learned by generations of Irish kids about to be told off by their ma. Good man Nidge.
11. Tony is TERRIFYING
You’d definitely lend him a tenner if he asked.
Nidge gives Darren up. But then, wouldn’t you?
12. Fran’s always hungry
Even when they’re scarpering down the M1 after Nidge has narrowly avoided being tortured to death by the IRA. Is now the time for a breakfast roll? Yes, yes it is.
13. Aido has all his priorities right
As the underworld tears itself apart around him, he’s gone to replace his budgie. “Uh, I was looking for a mini macaw or something.”
And it’s paid off. Look how well it looks next to his fishtank:
NB. In a previous episode recap, I promised to eat the sofa cushions if Aido’s fishtank was still intact at the end of the series.
Pass the ketchup there.
14. Elmo isn’t great at… anything
Really? Darren’s sitting there in a locked car, unarmed, and you still can’t get the job done?
Dazzler would have seen off an entire armed division by now.
15. FINALLY, Nidge talks about his feelings
Nidgey: “This bald thing is getting to me.”
Trish: “You could always do the Wayne Rooney. It only costs ten grand. All the celebrities have it.”
16. The most awkward phone conversation EVER
What do you say to someone you’ve just tried to have assassinated? “Oh, hey Darren!”
17. And then, this:
18. And the final shot of a seagull over Dublin
Well, what the hell are we going to do with our Sunday evenings now?
Roll on the fourth series.
We’ll leave the final word to Proinsias Carr, who prepared this little beauty. Let’s hope Darren’s hoodie got the big funeral it deserved.