IT’S BAD ENOUGH missing out on a party or night out all your friends seem to be going to. But an event that half the country seems to be attending? An event that will be talked about for weeks before and after? Spare us.
This month’s Beyoncé gigs have unleashed a new wave of FOMO on the people who hadn’t prioritised getting tickets on that fateful December morning.
Big Gig FOMO is intense and painful, and must be avoided at all costs.
Remembering that you promised yourself you would go
After hearing the buzz about the last gig a couple of years ago, you swore you wouldn’t miss the next one. What – the event is in two weeks?
Better get cracking on some tickets so.
Realising you should have gotten tickets when they first went on sale
Excuses, excuses excuses. You thought it wouldn’t sell out so quickly. They cost €70. You weren’t such a big fan of Beyoncé/Haim/the Dublin football team anyway. Sure we’ll leave it.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE IT?
No they won’t.
Feeling unbearably jealous of friends who got tickets
You scoffed when they queued outside in the rain all night for a ticket. Now you’d do a lot worse for one.
Watching your Facebook feed bubble with anticipation for the event
Some people are doing countdowns, some are posting endless YouTube videos, a few are somehow just exuding the confidence of a person who has secured themselves a ticket.
You hate them all.
Searching the internet for reasonably priced tickets
As if. Conniving tricksters await you at every turn, and the sellers who seem legit are pelted with offers of extortionate amounts left, right, and centre. How can you compete?
GRAND. €550 it is. Such a steal.
Appealing to the #ticketfairy
You’re just going to put it out there, abandoning your cool. Perhaps something will turn up. Anything. You’ll pay double. Even for seated tickets in the (whisper it) upper circle.
You even stick the band members’ Twitter handles in just in case. Please RT. Please.
Tweeting your desolation
#jealous #devastated #cantbelieveit
Saying ‘I’ll have my own party, so’
YouTube, Spotify, highlights reel – it’s just like the real thing. Better actually. You won’t have to deal with the crowds or the overpriced drinks or all those loud noises…
Banning all talk of the event
Your coworker in the adjoining cubicle won’t stop going on about how it was so amaaaaazing, how they did FIVE encores, there will never be anything like it again. Why isn’t there a block button in real life?
Promising yourself you’ll go the next time
And the cycle begins anew.