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Dublin: 9 °C Saturday 18 May, 2013

PLAY: Recession Ireland Monopoly with DailyEdge.ie

It’s, er, unofficial…

Image: f_shields via Flickr

CORK IS GETTING its own Monopoly board today. But what about the rest of us?

OK, OK, there are already a number of Ireland and Dublin Monopoly boards doing the rounds. But none, we felt, that reflected the real experience of life in Ireland today.

So we’ve put our heads together and done something up. Presenting: DailyEdge.ie’s Unofficial Recession Ireland Monopoly…

PLAY: Recession Ireland Monopoly with DailyEdge.ie
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  • GO!

    This photo shows the racing car, but you can't be the racing car. You have to be the broken shoe. (billaday/Flickr)
  • BROWN SQUARES

    Buy a 'starter home', 90km from your workplace in the city. There will be no schools, hospitals or shops nearby. Welcome to life as a grownup! (Google Maps)
  • WEEKLY FOOD SHOP

    Go to a discount supermarket. Curse yourself for forgetting your list. Pick up a packet of chocolate biscuits as a treat, then put them back. (Photocall Ireland)
  • HOUSEHOLD CHARGE

    Pay €100. (Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)
  • RAILWAY STATION #1

    Metro North. (Cancelled.) (Photocall Ireland)
  • CHANCE

    Take a 'staycation' in a caravan in Wexford. It rains for the entire week. Pay €2,000. (tonyhall/Flickr)
  • WATER WORKS

    Will we have water charges? Yes, we will. But not quite yet. How much will it be? We'll do it as soon as we have water meters. But we can't have water meters for some reason. ... (Go to sleep in front of the news. Miss a go.) (Angelo González/Flickr)
  • GO TO JAIL

    For not paying your TV licence. It takes all day to be driven to Dublin, sit in a holding cell for three hours, and then be released because of overcrowding. Miss two gos.
  • GHOST ESTATE!

    You get lost in one while driving across the country for your cousin's wedding in some poxy hotel. Miss a go. (Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
  • PINK SQUARES

    Home upgrade! Buy a house with a garage, only 40km from your workplace. (Remember to check it for pyrite.) (Google Maps)
  • COMMUNITY CHEST

    Forfeit your SSIA on something ridiculous, like decking. (Photocall Ireland)
  • RAILWAY STATION #2

    Dart Underground. (Cancelled) (Photocall Ireland)
  • COMMUNITY CHEST

    Your investment apartment in Bansko, Bulgaria - which you bought after getting a pay rise in 2005 - needs repair work to its roof, walls, floor, plumbing and all internal fittings. Pay €25,000 after getting a nasty legal letter from the tenant, who hinted at connections with Dublin gang crime. (AP Photo/Petar Petrov)
  • GHOST ESTATE!

    A bus full of German tourists has stopped to gawk at derelict houses, blocking the narrow road. Miss a go. Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland
  • FREE PARKING

    Pay the clampers €80. (Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
  • BUILD A HOTEL

    Build a hotel on one of your properties! Then watch as it is undercut by a number of nearby hotels, which are all in Nama. Stroll wistfully through the empty rooms. (Jen SFO BCN/Flickr)
  • RED SQUARE

    Home upgrade! Buy a city centre apartment off plan. For a bonus puzzle, try to work out where to put the ironing board. (Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)
  • GHOST ESTATE!

    Your car runs out of petrol. You wander round trying to find a house that is occupied, but fail. Fall over an exposed iron pipe on the way out, and spend the five-mile walk to the garage worrying about tetanus. Miss a go. (Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
  • RAILWAY STATION #3

    Motorway in a public/private partnership arrangement. Pay an extortionate toll. (Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland.)
  • CHANCE

    Bank error, not in your favour. Pay €50. (jeffwilcox/Flickr)
  • SUPER TAX

    Pay the Universal Social Charge. To calculate, work out roughly what you think it's going to be, and then triple it. (Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)
  • MAYFAIR!

    Build your swanky new headquarters in a prestigious site in Dublin's Docklands. (Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
  • MORTGAGE YOUR PROPERTIES

    Well, beg your bank manager to let you remortgage your properties. He laughs in your face before going back to his game of Minesweeper. (nathanmac87/Flickr)
  • PASS GO

    You are in negative equity. Do not collect €200. Start all over again. (billaday/Flickr)

Monopoly, bai! Cork gets own board with 22 local landmarks>

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