GO!
This photo shows the racing car, but you can't be the racing car. You have to be the broken shoe.
(billaday/Flickr)
BROWN SQUARES
Buy a 'starter home', 90km from your workplace in the city. There will be no schools, hospitals or shops nearby. Welcome to life as a grownup!
(Google Maps)
WEEKLY FOOD SHOP
Go to a discount supermarket. Curse yourself for forgetting your list. Pick up a packet of chocolate biscuits as a treat, then put them back.
(Photocall Ireland)
HOUSEHOLD CHARGE
Pay €100.
(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)
RAILWAY STATION #1
Metro North. (Cancelled.)
(Photocall Ireland)
CHANCE
Take a 'staycation' in a caravan in Wexford. It rains for the entire week. Pay €2,000.
(tonyhall/Flickr)
WATER WORKS
Will we have water charges? Yes, we will. But not quite yet. How much will it be? We'll do it as soon as we have water meters. But we can't have water meters for some reason. ...
(Go to sleep in front of the news. Miss a go.)
(Angelo González/Flickr)
GO TO JAIL
For not paying your TV licence. It takes all day to be driven to Dublin, sit in a holding cell for three hours, and then be released because of overcrowding. Miss two gos.
GHOST ESTATE!
You get lost in one while driving across the country for your cousin's wedding in some poxy hotel. Miss a go.
(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
PINK SQUARES
Home upgrade! Buy a house with a garage, only 40km from your workplace. (Remember to check it for pyrite.)
(Google Maps)
COMMUNITY CHEST
Forfeit your SSIA on something ridiculous, like decking.
(Photocall Ireland)
RAILWAY STATION #2
Dart Underground. (Cancelled)
(Photocall Ireland)
COMMUNITY CHEST
Your investment apartment in Bansko, Bulgaria - which you bought after getting a pay rise in 2005 - needs repair work to its roof, walls, floor, plumbing and all internal fittings. Pay €25,000 after getting a nasty legal letter from the tenant, who hinted at connections with Dublin gang crime.
(AP Photo/Petar Petrov)
GHOST ESTATE!
A bus full of German tourists has stopped to gawk at derelict houses, blocking the narrow road. Miss a go.
Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland
FREE PARKING
Pay the clampers €80.
(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
BUILD A HOTEL
Build a hotel on one of your properties! Then watch as it is undercut by a number of nearby hotels, which are all in Nama. Stroll wistfully through the empty rooms.
(Jen SFO BCN/Flickr)
RED SQUARE
Home upgrade! Buy a city centre apartment off plan. For a bonus puzzle, try to work out where to put the ironing board.
(Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)
GHOST ESTATE!
Your car runs out of petrol. You wander round trying to find a house that is occupied, but fail. Fall over an exposed iron pipe on the way out, and spend the five-mile walk to the garage worrying about tetanus. Miss a go.
(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
RAILWAY STATION #3
Motorway in a public/private partnership arrangement. Pay an extortionate toll.
(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland.)
CHANCE
Bank error, not in your favour. Pay €50.
(jeffwilcox/Flickr)
SUPER TAX
Pay the Universal Social Charge. To calculate, work out roughly what you think it's going to be, and then triple it.
(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)
MAYFAIR!
Build your swanky new headquarters in a prestigious site in Dublin's Docklands.
(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)
MORTGAGE YOUR PROPERTIES
Well, beg your bank manager to let you remortgage your properties. He laughs in your face before going back to his game of Minesweeper.
(nathanmac87/Flickr)
PASS GO
You are in negative equity. Do not collect €200. Start all over again.
(billaday/Flickr)
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