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Dublin: 6 °C Wednesday 26 November, 2014

Nobel laureate, and other things you can put on your CV*

* But probably shouldn’t.

Katie Taylor won the Olympic gold, but she won it FOR IRELAND. So congratulations!
Katie Taylor won the Olympic gold, but she won it FOR IRELAND. So congratulations!
Image: Niall Carson/PA Wire

SO – NOW THAT you’ve slept on it, how does it feel to be a Nobel laureate?

Of course, the chances are you were so thrilled at the European Union (that’s you! And 503 million other people) being named as the winner of the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize that you might not have slept at all – and partied the night away with your fellow Nobel laureates.

We’ve seen a few jokes about people adding their new Nobel status to their Twitter biographies and business cards – but thought, why don’t we go further?

What other semi-dubious accolades could you put on a CV?

  • TIME Magazine Person of the Year 2006: TIME’s person of the year in 2006 was, simply, “You.” As in, anyone who used social media that year. The idea was that social media had revolutionised the way people engaged with each other, and broadcast their views to the world. If you had written a blog, opened a Bebo profile, or ever stuck a video on YouTube, congratulations: the award was yours.
  • TIME Magazine Person of the Year 2011: Have you ever protested? Even if you weren’t involved in the Occupy movement or chipped in with the Arab Spring, you can claim that ‘The Protestor’ includes you.
  • Yes, other TIME magazine awards: If you consider yourself part of ‘Planet Earth’, you won it in 1988; if you tag along under the title ‘Good Samaritans’, you won in 2005; if you’re a whistleblower, you won it in 2002.
  • Officially one of the world’s friendliest people: Sort of. Lonely Planet named Ireland as one of the world’s top ten friendliest countries in 2010. By extension, that means you must be one of the friendliest people, right?
  • One of Europe’s most charitable people: The ‘World Giving Index’ for 2011 named Ireland as the second most charitable country in the world, and the top in Europe. Again, that has to include its people, right?
  • One of Europe’s most investable… people?: This is the sound of a barrel being scraped. Site Selection publishes annual rankings of the best-to-invest countries, and this year Ireland was fourth in the world and the top performer in Europe. And a country can’t be worth investing in if it doesn’t have a decent workforce, right?
  • Seven-time winner of the Eurovision Song Contest: The juries of Europe didn’t say, “Johnny Logan, douze points” – they said, “Ireland, douze points”. See also: any sporting accolade ever won by a team representing Ireland/your province/county/parish. (For example: this writer is a three-time Heineken Cup winner, seven-time All-Ireland football winner and three-time county hurling champion. Not bad for someone who doesn’t own a pair of football boots.)

What other awards or weird accolades could you put on your CV? Let us know in the comments.

Poll: Should the European Union have won the Nobel prize?

Infographic: Does eating more chocolate win you more Nobel prizes?

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