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Dublin: 9 °C Wednesday 22 May, 2013

Nobel laureate, and other things you can put on your CV*

* But probably shouldn’t.

Katie Taylor won the Olympic gold, but she won it FOR IRELAND. So congratulations!
Katie Taylor won the Olympic gold, but she won it FOR IRELAND. So congratulations!
Image: Niall Carson/PA Wire

SO – NOW THAT you’ve slept on it, how does it feel to be a Nobel laureate?

Of course, the chances are you were so thrilled at the European Union (that’s you! And 503 million other people) being named as the winner of the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize that you might not have slept at all – and partied the night away with your fellow Nobel laureates.

We’ve seen a few jokes about people adding their new Nobel status to their Twitter biographies and business cards – but thought, why don’t we go further?

What other semi-dubious accolades could you put on a CV?

  • TIME Magazine Person of the Year 2006: TIME’s person of the year in 2006 was, simply, “You.” As in, anyone who used social media that year. The idea was that social media had revolutionised the way people engaged with each other, and broadcast their views to the world. If you had written a blog, opened a Bebo profile, or ever stuck a video on YouTube, congratulations: the award was yours.
  • TIME Magazine Person of the Year 2011: Have you ever protested? Even if you weren’t involved in the Occupy movement or chipped in with the Arab Spring, you can claim that ‘The Protestor’ includes you.
  • Yes, other TIME magazine awards: If you consider yourself part of ‘Planet Earth’, you won it in 1988; if you tag along under the title ‘Good Samaritans’, you won in 2005; if you’re a whistleblower, you won it in 2002.
  • Officially one of the world’s friendliest people: Sort of. Lonely Planet named Ireland as one of the world’s top ten friendliest countries in 2010. By extension, that means you must be one of the friendliest people, right?
  • One of Europe’s most charitable people: The ‘World Giving Index’ for 2011 named Ireland as the second most charitable country in the world, and the top in Europe. Again, that has to include its people, right?
  • One of Europe’s most investable… people?: This is the sound of a barrel being scraped. Site Selection publishes annual rankings of the best-to-invest countries, and this year Ireland was fourth in the world and the top performer in Europe. And a country can’t be worth investing in if it doesn’t have a decent workforce, right?
  • Seven-time winner of the Eurovision Song Contest: The juries of Europe didn’t say, “Johnny Logan, douze points” – they said, “Ireland, douze points”. See also: any sporting accolade ever won by a team representing Ireland/your province/county/parish. (For example: this writer is a three-time Heineken Cup winner, seven-time All-Ireland football winner and three-time county hurling champion. Not bad for someone who doesn’t own a pair of football boots.)

What other awards or weird accolades could you put on your CV? Let us know in the comments.

Poll: Should the European Union have won the Nobel prize?

Infographic: Does eating more chocolate win you more Nobel prizes?

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Comments (17 Comments)

  • I’m from the emerald isle, therefore i deduce that I am an emerald.

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  • Both Stalin and Richard Nixon were twice Time man of the year. Poor old Hitler only managed it once.

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  • Seven All Irelands? Meath? 3 County hurling titles? Rathmolyon?

    Reply
  • ? NOW THAT you?ve slept on it, how does it feel to be a Nobel laureate??

    It feels the same as yesterday, Pathetic. Handing a peace prize the the EU, a war mongering machine responsible for the death of millions of innocent men woman and children. And all in the name of Alfred Nobel, an arms dealer for gods sake, the inventor of dynamite, mass producer of cannons lol. Where does the joke end ??? Who gets the prize next ?? Jeffrey Damer ? Peter Suthclif ??

    F*cking stupid.

    Reply
    • You seem bitter David – did you not get nominated or something?!

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    • Which wars in particular did the EU “monger”?

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    • The war on crooked bananas if I recall correctly.

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    • Is a bit of a joke giving a peace prize to the EU maybe they should have given the economics prize to the AIB as well

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    • The EU was designed to, and has spectacularly succeeded in, avoiding wars between its members. Its members may be involved in external wars, and wars may have occurred in neighbouring states, but that is not what the EU, nor its receipt of the Peace Prize, is about.

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    • The EU was not designed to prevent wars….Jesus Christ….would you people ever cop on and research some of your dubious thoughts before pressing the submit button.

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    • @ Buckwheat, those damn bananas had it coming though.

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    • Dermot it was an economic union intended to engage countries in trade so they would be less likely to declare war on each other. Pooling sovereignty would reduce the nationalist impulses that had led to the World Wars and other inter-European wars. If you have other information, please let us know.

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    • Sigh…..just sigh..
      Although I possess the necessary literal capabilities required to debunk your rather bizarre assertion that the EU was formed with the sole intention of preventing war between member states I find myself relying upon the medium of jean luc pickard’s facepalm.

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      Reply
    • That didn’t work did it….. Awkward!

      Reply

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