WITH ONLY A week to go to the big day, the same question is being thrown at us left, right and centre…
If this query fills you with dread to your very bones, then you’re probably one of these disastrous Christmas present shoppers…
1. The person with no list
Without some kind of direction you are going to end up aimlessly buying bits and pieces in the weeks leading up the Christmas, muttering to yourself “oh Anne would love that” and “that’s a nice little yoke to add into Bernard’s pressie”.
Next thing you know it’s Christmas Eve and you have three notebooks, hand lotion, a bookmark, two necklaces and a jewellery box for Anne, a jumper, book of Karl Pilkington quotes, two pairs of ‘gas’ socks and a Mondello voucher for Barry AND NOTHING FOR YOUR MOTHER!
Make that list, check it twice.
2. The foot spa person
Here’s a friendly reminder. You bought your mother a foot spa last year, and three years ago. She already has two foot spas.
Step away from the foot spas. Yes, you. Step away.
3. The person who thinks bath smellies are acceptable
Before you buy that lovely set of bath salts and pearls for that special someone ask yourself these simple questions:
a) Has this person, to your knowledge, taken a bath since the mid eighties?
b) Does this person even have a bath in their house?
c) Has this person ever expressed any interest in bath salts, or even know what they’re for?
If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, then you shouldn’t be buying those bath smellies.
4. The person who leaves their dad’s present til last
A recent survey by One4All revealed that one in five Irish people find their dads the most difficult person to buy for, so leaving his present til the last minute is not a good idea.
Let’s run through the things you’ve already considered:
Allow us to help you out with some fresh ideas:
A very Irish tax disc:
The complete Hands box set
Commander Hadfield’s book
5. The person who leaves it all until Christmas Eve
If you’re part of the “sure I’ll get it all in Golden Discs on Christmas Eve brigade”, then this is how you’ll spend the hours between 3pm and 5.55pm on 24 December:
3pm: “Sure I’ve loads of time. I’ll just stroll around a few shops and pick everything up as I go along. Pint in my hand by 6pm”.
3.30pm: “Hmmm, Dunnes is sold out of socks and I can’t find mam’s perfume anywhere. No bother, I’ll get them something else”.
4.30pm: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE SOLD OUT OF BOOKS? YOU HAVE NO BOOKS?”
5pm: “Totally fine. Still have Golden Discs and the chemists to go. Loads of stuff there”
5.55pm: You have bought five packets of blank CDs and 7 Lily of the Valley gift sets. Nothing else. Merry Christmas everyone.
6. The person who loses their car
Not only have you left it all to the last minute, now you’re wandering around the Liffey Valley Car Park occasionally taking out your phone to to try to ring your car.
7. The person who insists that “it’s only small” as the gift is unwrapped.
Congratulations, you’re 100% Irish.