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Dublin: 6 °C Friday 29 March, 2024
festival season

8 of the absolute worst things about summer gig season in Ireland

The actual worst.

Body and Soul Festival. Pictured are peo graphy: Sasko Lazarov / Photocall Ireland graphy: Sasko Lazarov / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

THIS WEEKEND PROPERLY marked the start of summer gig season.

In Co. Westmeath, revelers assembled to enjoy the magic of Body & Soul while the more hardy music fan made the journey to Co. Donegal for a spot of Sea Sessions.

Ed Sheeran, Avicii, Paolo Nutini and Kodaline are among the acts heading our way over the weeks, to say nothing of Longitude or Castlepalooza.

But while it’s all fun and games to a point, festivals and outdoor gigs can also be nothing but stress.

1. Having your bags checked on the way in and becoming freaked that someone somehow putanaggin in there

giphy (9) Reddit Reddit

You know in your heart of hearts that there’s nothing in your bag. But that doesn’t stop you from becoming irrationally spooked that someone popped anaggin in there without your knowledge and that you won’t be allowed in.

Of course, when they let you on through, you feel like you’ve gotten away with something even though you have done nothing wrong.

2. Having your festival wristband on so tight that it threatens to cut off your circulation

And there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.

3. Needing to get money out and sighing at the sheer length of the ATM queues

CURSES!

4. And that’s to say nothing of the queues at the bar

queue Flickr Flickr

Nor of the pain when you hand over €6 for a pint of watery beer.

5. Going to the bathroom is an ordeal that requires extensive mental preparation

portaloo Flickr Flickr

Going to the bathroom at an outdoor gig requires great fortitude and strength, and typically involves…

  • An interrogation from your friends about whether you really have to go
  • Cautiously pulling doors to see if the portable toilets are vacant and risking having someone shout at you if they’re not
  • Closing your eyes and trying to remain blissfully ignorant of what the person before you has done
  • Holding your breath as if you’re underwater

Lovely.

6. Receiving deeply unhelpful texts from your friends as to where they are

glasto Flickr Flickr

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “STANDING TO THE RIGHT” OF THE STAGE?

JUST COME MEET ME.

7. Trying and failing to keep your phone battery charged

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  • 1.36pm: turns phone on airplane mode
  • 2.12pm: takes 31 photos
  • 2.46pm: phone battery is down to 50% already????
  • 3.24pm: text everyone you’re supposed to meet about how your phone might die and to get in touch with Sinead instead
  • 3.57pm: phone officially dies

The struggle is real.

8. And don’t forget about the ever present spectre of rain looming in the air

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THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS :(

Sea Sessions’ campsite notice could only have been spotted at an Irish festival >

11 of the best responses from the Electric Picnic Facebook page >

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