THE MINUTE THE rain came back to Ireland another thing returned with it.
Umbrellas.
We went from strutting down our streets in blaring sunshine to suddenly navigating a sea of umbrellas in the pouring rain.
Umbrellas can keep you dry and make it easier to get across town on a wet day but they are also a right pain.
1. People do not know how to hold them
Eamonn and James Clarke/Eamonn and James Clarke/EMPICS Entertainment
How many times have you tried to make it across town only to be poked in the arm or nearly had your head chopped off by someone who clearly doesn’t know how to hold an umbrella the right way?
It’s not that hard lads.
2. They rarely get shared amongst friends
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Have you noticed how hard it is to fit yourself and a mate under an umbrella?
Somebody invariably ends up with a wet shoulder and the other person feels bad about it.
It can tear apart friendships.
3. Some of them are just too big
Jay LaPrete/AP/Press Association Images
Those enormous golf umbrellas might work if you are playing the Ryder Cup but otherwise you are taking up way too much space for the rest of us non-umbrella holders.
4. Some of them are just too silly
If you are the kind of “kooky” individual who carries a Hello Kitty umbrella or similar then you stop that right now, you’re not fooling anyone.
Unless you’re very, very young then we’ll allow it (for now).
5. You will forever lose them
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If you’ve managed to hold on to the same umbrella for more than a week before leaving it somewhere then you are clearly very organised or a total liar.
6. They never seem to work
Eamonn and James Clarke/Eamonn and James Clarke/EMPICS Entertainment
We’ve all had that moment where you’ve opened your umbrella and a slight gust of wind appears.
Then the umbrella seems to crumble and turn itself inside out in mere seconds.
Raging.
7. The streets seem overrun with turtles
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Ever looked down the street when everyone is holding an umbrella?
It is terrifying because all you can see are the tops of a million (ahem) umbrellas and everybody looks like a turtle with a shell.
Weird.
