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this old thing?

8 reasons why vintage shopping is a highly stressful activity

The stress.

WE’VE ALL BEEN there.

You compliment someone’s outfit and you ask where they got it. “Oh, I got it in a vintage shop!” they reply.

Vintage shopping has surged in popularity in recent years, with shops opening up left, right and centre, and magazines frequently extolling the virtues of buying vintage.

But it ain’t all peachy. In fact, it can all be a little stressful.

1. The long vintage dresses will break your heart

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The dresses may be gorgeous, but that’s of no use if you’re vertically challenged and the dresses either sort of drag across the ground or finish at a weird length.

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2. The clothes may smell like someone passed away in them

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That blouse you bought? It might smell like some potent combination of auld perfume, dust, cigarette smoke and sweat. So there’s that to deal with.

And if you can’t dry clean them, well…

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3. Trying to find something in your size can be near impossible

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Everything is either too small or decidedly roomy, which inevitably leads to…

4. You start tricking yourself into thinking you’ll take clothes in for alterations

shutterstock_225402490 Shutterstock / Khakimullin Aleksandr Shutterstock / Khakimullin Aleksandr / Khakimullin Aleksandr

You find a dress that’s lovely. Upon closer inspection, you realise that the zip is broken or the hem needs fixing. “That’s okay,” you say. “I’ll take it to the dressmaker!”

This despite the fact that you have never taken anything to a dressmaker in your life and you know full well that you never will.

5. You begin to question your own judgment

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As you scour the racks and fail to find anything, you start wondering if you’re just not imaginative or creative like all these other people who seem to unearth nice things.

MAYBE I JUST DON’T HAVE A GOOD EYE

emoji5 shelfofmelanie / Wordpress shelfofmelanie / Wordpress / Wordpress

6. Oh, clothes from the 1990s are considered “vintage” now

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Oh, it’s vintage, is it? Nearly certain it’s from A-Wear circa 1997.

7. You run the risk of looking like an extra from Neighbours

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“Cool blouse!” you say.

Until you go home and realise it actually looks like a cast-off from Kylie’s wardrobe in the 1980s.

D’oh.

8. In fact, the line between looking stylish and looking like Pat Butcher is perilously thin

pat Eastenders / YouTube Eastenders / YouTube / YouTube

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE, VINTAGE SHOPPERS.

10 signs that you are devoted to shopping at Tiger >

9 everyday items that are suffering from severe notions >

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