IN OUR DAILY lives, there are certain rules we follow to maintain a classy demeanour.
Social etiquette, if you will.
For example, we maintain that we never pick our noses, and that to do so is revolting.
If someone mentions peeing in the shower, we recoil with horror to show everyone that we find said behaviour abhorrent.
The reality is though, behind closed doors we’re all disgusting.
So, if we’re all at it, why do we continue lying to each other? Perhaps the time has come to start being honest about out disgusting habits.
Passing gas and enjoying it
C’mon Clint. Like you’ve never done it?
Clearly it would be uncouth to simply expel gas while in the company of others, but when one is on one’s own it’s nice to let loose.
The truth is, if people were honest, almost everyone would admit that they’ve stuck their head under the covers for a moment to get the full effect of their creation.
SET THE TRUTH FREE.
Sitting with your hand in your trousers
Wait til you grow up, Hermione. You’ll understand.
There’s nothing sexual about this, so why are we ashamed?
For some men, there is nothing more comfortable (I’m told) than resting a hand on the nether regions, and many women enjoy a hand in the waistband.
There’s no messing going on, and unless you’re spectacular unwashed, nothing unclean, so why the fear?
PREACH.
Squeezing spots
What, Kimberley? YOU’VE NEVER HAD A SPOT?!?
What’s less attractive?
Squeezing spots, or looking at a massive whitehead, ripe for the popping?
The answer is clear. Hence, we all do it.
THE TRUTH IS OUT.
Picking at your feet
Oh shut up, Captain Jack Sparrow. You probably have cloven hooves at this stage.
This is one that doesn’t get spoken about as much as much as the others we’ve mentioned, but it is still a source of shame for many.
A needless source of shame.
Our poor feet endure much abuse over the course of our lifetime, thus they must shed the shackles of dead and dried up skin on a regular basis.
It’s only natural that you should use your hand to help them out.
TESTIFY.
Picking at your teeth, occasionally with implements that were not designed for teeth picking
Once your adult teeth come in it’ll be a different story.
Having a particle of food stuck in your teeth can be deeply infuriating.
You wiggle your tongue around it, hoping you’ll be able to pry it loose, but sometimes it’s just not possible.
That’s where the picking comes in.
It’s not pleasant to watch, but we all do it, and perhaps if we were more open about it the appropriate implements would be more easily accessed.
REAL TALK.
Picking your nose
Yes. Even you, Blair Waldorf.
It happens. We all do it.
Why do we do it? Because sometimes it’s uncomfortable to have hardened snot in your nose and a tissue just won’t do the job.
WHY ARE WE LYING?
Peeing in the shower
GET OVER IT BLAINE FROM GLEE.
If you’re in the shower and the need to wee comes upon you suddenly, it’s just not convenient to climb out and climb back in.
There are those who do, don’t get me wrong, but they are more rare than those who just let it go while they’re in there.
You’re washing literally as you do it, so it’s not like the urine is going t hang around.
Can’t we just start telling the truth?
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.
Wiping with something that’s not toilet paper
You know what Miss Jay? It happens.
Yes, that’s right, we’re talking about the emergency wipe here.
Unless you are some kind of superhuman, from time to time you do a big job in the toilet, only to find there’s no toilet paper.
You have no choice but to make do with whatever is near, both in proximity and in likeness to toilet paper.
Sometimes it’s a receipt, other times it’s something much, much worse; the fact is, we all do it.
FLY ON THE WINGS OF TRUTHFULNESS.
So. It’s all out there now. We know the truth. Can we all be honest now?
