YOU MIGHT THINK you’re not living up to your 20s potential, but don’t fret. Now’s not the time to worry.
You can still do these things with pride.
1. Sleeping all day
Bit hungover of a Sunday morning? Just stay there for another hour and you’ll be grand. Oh it’s now 6pm? Sure there’s no point in even getting dressed at this stage.
2. Eating crap
Your evening meals are always something you would be ashamed to show your mother. You still take shortcuts like microwaving eggs and toasting waffles, and y’know what, that’s entirely acceptable right now.
3. You can live in a dump and no one will silently pity you
Knives, forks, plates that don’t have party balloons on them and can be ripped in half? No judgement here. Sure you’re only finding your feet. Wash dishes? Go and jump.
4. Having a favourite burrito place
Or any favourite fast food place, really. Who do you think you are?
5. Prinking
In no other decade of your life will piling cheap cider into you in a living room before you head to the pub seems in any way glamorous.
6. Exercise is a dirty word
If you’re not blessed with the will-power to regularly work out, it’s no biggie. Sitting inside eating crisps and scoffing at gym statuses on Facebook is practically a hobby among 20-somethings.
7. Going out on a school night
You’ve to be up for work at seven but what harm is it to stay out until two? Hangovers are just another excuse not to exercise and to have a beige lunch.
8. Constantly messaging your friends
How often are you NOT using iMessage, Snapchat, WhatsApp or Facebook messenger to shoot the breeze with friends, talking about nothing in particular? Try doing that when you have actual responsibilities. Well, at least ones you acknowledge.
9. Over-sharing on social media
Just looks weirder the older you get.
10. Being single
HOLD ON. You can definitely be single your whole life if you want to be, it’s just that as soon as 30 hits, everyone and their 50 aunties has to constantly ask when you’re going to settle down and give them a big day out. It’s a rule. Learn to live in the blissful silence until that day comes.
11. Not having your ‘real’ job
“Hey, I’m just out of college! Give me a minute would you?” will work until it’s 11.59pm on the eve of your 30th birthday.
12. Having obsessions
You think they might be reserved for tweens, but no, you can still get away with it. Hey adults, come back to us.
13. Denying you’re an adult
Technically, you are, but if you don’t outright admit it, nobody might know.
14. Wasting away days on Netflix
You watch 20 episodes of The Wire in one day? It’s practically your job. Now you can join in on all the conversations. Do it in 10 years and your house-mate is probably concerned about you.
