OK, WE’RE GOING to be real with you. Not liking hot drinks is simply unacceptable.
But hey, you’re you, so we’ll try make it work.
1. You have to deal with articles like this calling you weird
2. ‘Cup of tea?’ is a question asked in almost every social situation
It’s usually asked as a rhetorical question, so you pitching in with ‘no’ is like a smack across the face.
3. You have to deal with the reaction for minutes to come
What? Why? Will you have a coffee then? NONE OF THEM? What do you drink in the morning?
4. The emotional burden of them literally taking your rejection as an insult gets too much
What, you won’t even have a hot chocolate? Are you one of them vegans?
5. People just don’t understand, but you know you’re RIGHT
People who drink hot drinks are the odd ones. They’re too hot, then they’re too cold. A bit of consistency please.
6. It makes non-alcoholic social meetups a pain
Wanna go for a coffee? Oh wait, YOU DON’T DRINK COFFEE * glares at you with a mixture of disgust and pity*
7. Inviting someone in is a minefield
Wanna come in for coffee? I mean, er, a coke?
It’s OK, people only do this in the movies anyway.
8. You have to listen to people going on about ‘needing’ coffee
Whereas YOU actually have to put some effort into your morning chat.
9. Work tea rounds are a constant nightmare
You’ve been working there nine years and you STILL automatically get a cup. Not to mention that you’re still looked at oddly when you go to the kitchen and don’t make an offer.
How do you even make good tea?
You didn’t ASK FOR THIS LIFE.
10. When you’re sick, you’re left with little choice
All of the drinks that will make you feel better are hot. Hot whiskey, hot lemonade, hot lemon.
All gack.
11. Your biscuits always remain hard and cold
A steep injustice, indeed.
12. You feel you’ve failed your nan
Above all else you have achieved, often it felt like all she wanted for you was to accept and enjoy that cup of tea.
