10 reasons Steven Seagal is better than you

As if you didn’t already know.

13/10/12 10,384 Views 39 Comments

STEVEN SEAGAL IS better than you. You should just accept it.

What, you still think Steven Seagal isn’t better than you?

He is WAY better than you. Here’s why:

1. He’s been shot, but whatever

YouTube/HDNetFights

And he’s ALWAYS armed. You heard that, right?

2. He runs like a girl and doesn’t care

YouTube/mrjarvie1985

3. He understands fashion

This is him at the VH1 Fashion Awards. (Anthony Harvey/PA Archive/Press Association Images)

4. Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t even on his radar

YouTube/HDNetFights

5. He’s won awards

And accepted them with dignity. (MERGEN BEMBINOV/AP/Press Association Images)

6. He rocks out on the guitar

YouTube/RedEntAgency

7. He borrowed Bono’s glasses, and never gave them back

(JACK DEMPSEY/AP/Press Association Images)

What, you think Bono’s going to ask for them?

8. There’s a trumpet fanfare when he kicks people

YouTube/Bepprob

9. He literally enforces the law

Seagal is an actual officer in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. With full powers to arrest anyone that hijacks a nuclear submarine, or, you know, parks illegally.

He also beats up his fellow officers, according to this clip from his reality show Steven Seagal: Lawman.

YouTube/NewVideoDigital

10. I mean, COME ON

What a guy. (Misha Japaridze/AP/Press Association Images)

He’s better than you.

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

@michfreeman

michael@dailyedge.ie

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Comments (39 Comments)

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Brendan Reid 13/10/12 #

5 148

I wouldn’t argue with that! Although I wonder what chuck Norris would say about it…

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- Seán Ó Briain 13/10/12 #
  
  3 20
  
  Gene Lebell already got there, and choked Segal into an unconscious, pissy mess.
  
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- Attic Conversions Atticcompany 13/10/12 #
  
  4 26
  
  Steven seagull for the Ireland job.
  
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- Kitty Prendergast 13/10/12 #
  
  1 4
  
  I love the girly run with the flailing arms!
  
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- Dave Donnelly 13/10/12 #
  
  24 13
  
  chuck Norris would kick the shite outta him, and then some…
  
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- Ken Coz 13/10/12 #
  
  1 1
  
  More money
  
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Tony Skillington 13/10/12 #

3 38

Jaysus….he’s piled on the weight tho….looks a right puddin’ lately.

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- Mike Clinton 13/10/12 #
  
  5 112
  
  He was feeling peckish one day and he ate Chuck Norris… :-)
  
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Ian Conway 13/10/12 #

5 37

I’m watching under siege followed by nico tonight!

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- Sean Beag 13/10/12 #
  
  2 7
  
  On Deadly Ground was one of the better ones for action and cheese
  
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Mark Power 13/10/12 #

9 41

Segal is “The Man”. All action stars get old. Van Damme throws one kick per movie now, even the holy father himself, Chuck Norris hung his infamous Roundhouse Kick in a glass case. Segal is so bad-ass he doesn’t need to kick people.

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- Justin Donoghue 13/10/12 #
  
  0 19
  
  He just sits on people now judging by the size of him
  
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Philip Kelly 13/10/12 #

1 13

But… ” what is the essence of man”

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Deborah McCarthy 13/10/12 #

6 21

You are the hippest hipster in all the land Sean, no denying it.

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- Sean Herbert 13/10/12 #
  
  27 2
  
  You don’t know what a hipster is.
  
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Valentine Kane 13/10/12 #

4 15

He would kick my arse and thats a fact

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Creamy Hamstrings 13/10/12 #

18 36

Haha brilliant. What an absolute tool!

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M Barron 13/10/12 #

1 6

11. Steven Seagal counted to infinity -twice.

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Bastard Smooth 13/10/12 #

5 12

I think it’s time he released an Under Siege 3D, in which a Nasa space mission becomes taken over by terrorists and only the ex Navy seal/ space chef, Casey Ryback can save the universe.

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- Bastard Smooth 13/10/12 #
  
  7 7
  
  Under Siege 4 will be set on a time machine. Then they can finish the franchise and I’ll die a happy man.
  
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Les Rock 13/10/12 #

24 27

But didn’t he slap Kelly le Brock around a bit. Yeh real man right there.

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Séamus Ó Lochlainn 13/10/12 #

2 5

The movie title “Hard to Kill” did it for me. Exactly what it says on the tin.

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Debi-Nikita Rathbone-Rentzke 13/10/12 #

12 13

Nothing beats Chuck Norris – he’s still the main dude.

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- Dave Donnelly 13/10/12 #
  
  4 22
  
  fact! chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  
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- Larry the lizard 13/10/12 #
  
  1 2
  
  Chuck Norris does not love Raymond!
  
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Gary Teeling 13/10/12 #

3 5

“One thing everyone seems to agree on, though, is that Seagal is an unpleasant egomaniac” http://popdose.com/how-bad-can-it-be-steven-seagal-lawman/

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Alex Glover 13/10/12 #

3 5

He’s not better than me

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Alan Bolger 13/10/12 #

9 9

Ha ha I enjoyed that, he’s a legend in his own mind. The few films I seen him in were woeful tripe, no wonder he has to produce his own.

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Cian Smith 13/10/12 #

4 4

He also trains the greatest living fighter Anderson silva!

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- Anders Holm 13/10/12 #
  
  3 1
  
  Eh? You forgot about Ali?
  
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- Anders Holm 13/10/12 #
  
  3 0
  
  Or more closer to home, Paddy Monahan?
  
  http://www.saddoboxing.com/8294-paddy-monaghan.html
  
  There’s a fighter, one most of anyone on here probably never heard of. Go on, look at his record. His knuckles kind of speak for themselves.
  
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Symeon Charalabides 13/10/12 #

1 2

Michael, I’m disappointed; you forgot his rock star credentials:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Songs_from_the_Crystal_Cave

Much, much, much more fun here (the word “fun” may or may not be used to express actual fun):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7cUxI4XHhs

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Daniel Mcgrath 13/10/12 #

5 4

Steven Seagal is the man !!!!!!!!!!

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- Sean Herbert 13/10/12 #
  
  3 1
  
  Baaaaaaaaa
  
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ConMan 13/10/12 #

4 2

He trained Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida to perform the must spectacular knock outs ever in the UFC with a karate front kick to the face!!

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Sean Herbert 13/10/12 #

37 7

I predicted this a few years ago on Boards.ie – all the tosser fads, like Hasselhoff, Chuck Norris facts, and Zombies – I predicted that Segal would be next. It’s the natural progression from a predictable bunch of bandwagon hoppers. People are lame.

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- Sean Herbert 13/10/12 #
  
  18 3
  
  http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=51024770
  
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- Buckwheat MacMillan 13/10/12 #
  
  1 10
  
  Thanks for the insight – Mystic Meg
  
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Ollie O'Cleirigh 13/10/12 #

9 2

Steven seagull.

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10 reasons Steven Seagal is better than you

As if you didn’t already know.

1. He’s been shot, but whatever

2. He runs like a girl and doesn’t care

3. He understands fashion

4. Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t even on his radar

5. He’s won awards

6. He rocks out on the guitar

7. He borrowed Bono’s glasses, and never gave them back

8. There’s a trumpet fanfare when he kicks people

9. He literally enforces the law

10. I mean, COME ON

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