IT’S OFFICIALLY STARTING to take up. We all know what that means… the big Spring Clean.
Here’s how it’s gonna go down.
1. Optimism
You bought a load of new cleaning products and cloths and you’ve set aside an afternoon to get stuck in. You GOT THIS.
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The more dedicated of you may even have a playlist ready.
2. An overwhelming sense of anxiety
Your wardrobe looks like a charity shop’s donation room, pre-sort. Should have booked the week off.
3. Nostalgia
For the Winter gone by. Taking down the summer clothes is so bittersweet, and locking away the electric blanket is a fool’s errant. You’ll have it down again next week.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
4. Hopelessness
You open the hot press, and despair falls out.
Oh that… that’s supposed to be in there.
5. Boredom
Time for a little break. Your social media needs a Spring Clean too.
The floors are WET, ok?
6. Nausea
… as a result of using up everything in your freezer to clear it all out.
Mmmmm… tastes like ice.
7. Disgust at your very being
You didn’t want to admit it, but there are still Christmas decorations lying around. Hey, you made it work for Easter, but it’s time to let it go.
To the attic.
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8. Guilt
You’ve avoided going to the bottle bank for far too long. Now all of this belongs to you.
9. Distress
You think you’re doing well, then you look outside. The shed ain’t gonna clean itself.
You need a skip. How do you even get a skip?
10. Minor triumph
You’ve only been working 20 minutes and you already have two bags for the clothes bank.
Pat yourself on the back.
11. Abandonment
Listen, you tried.
