SURE, WE’VE HAD a bit of sunshine and the temperatures are humane, but let’s not get carried away. Sunnies and shorts? Wind your neck in.
Here are some signs that you’re so over winter.
1. You’ve taken the electric blanket off your bed
You’ve even given it a little hoover and a spring clean in the process. It’s noticeably harder, but sufficiently cooler. Farewell our fleecy friend, you have served us well.
2. You spend a little less time boiling yourself alive in the shower or taking long baths before bed
Gone are the baths that would literally bubble they were so hot. You’d emerge red, but warm. Quick lukewarm shower will do now.
3. You’ve switched from fleecy pyjamas to a t-shirt
That sweat isn’t just from the surprise bonus spring colds you’re getting. Penneys are even selling their shorts sets now, score.
4. A cold breakfast will do
Ciao, porridge. Never really liked you anyway.
You also find yourself laying off the constant cups of tea in an attempt to heat yourself from the outside-in.
5. You’ve put the gloves and woolly scarves away for another year
Stuff em in the winter box on top of the wardrobe, while you can now shift the summer clothes to the forefront. The sunnies might even be upgraded into your everyday bag. Ah!
6. You need to put the immersion on for hot water as your gas heating isn’t on as much
Dammit, such a radical lifestyle change to adapt to. We have to learn to remember to switch it off all over again. Life is so hard.
7. You put the washing on the line overnight without the constant worry that it’ll rain
Ah sure it’s only a sunshower.
8. There’s already an underlying feeling of guilt at spending evenings indoors
But change is coming too fast, too quick.
Our bodies aren’t ready.
9. You’re genuinely considering cleaning the barbecue and back furniture over the weekend
Just in case like. It’s a Bank Holiday.
Ah feck it, we’ll get a disposable one.
10. It’s time to stock up on fake tan
The pegs will be out, moreso than usual.
11. You go for a pint after work only to sit in the beer garden freezing your ass off
Going inside would admit defeat, you can still get scorched by the heaters though.
12. You don’t tut at the ice cream van music anymore
“Sure he’ll be getting no business today HAHAHA”. No more, no more of these jokes please.
