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Dublin: 10 °C Tuesday 21 October, 2014

6 ways Ryanair’s fully allocated seating will change your life

These flights, they are a’changing.

WHAT’S GOING ON at Ryanair? First they give you a carry-on bag allowance, now they’re allocating all seats…FOR FREE.

From tomorrow, all Ryanair flights will be fully allocated. Those who opt not to pay to choose their seats will be randomly assigned one for free.

We’re so excited, we can’t cope.

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Do you realise what this MEANS?

1. There’ll be no more frantic scramble for a seat

GO GO GO.

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All just a memory.

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2. No standing in a queue for longer than your actual trip

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3. You have a better chance of getting a decent seat if you’re late

Near enough to the back for an easy disembark, safe yet convenient distance from toilet, plenty of overhead baggage area. You’re not looking for miracles, seating Gods, just consideration.

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4. There’ll be no shame or judgement for those who ‘start’ the queue first, forcing everyone else to follow in a panic

Reserve the hatred for the priority boarders.

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5. Cabin crew will have to guide you to your seat instead of throwing you to the lions once they vandalise your ticket

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6. You’ll be told which end of the plane to enter on

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Be gone, the harrowing decision of whether to stick with the front queue or chance the crowds flocking to the rear.

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It’s always like this anyway. Always.

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