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One-hit wonders of the noughties: A definitive ranking from worst to best

Ready your ears. DailyEdge.ie would like to take you on a musical journey.

THE FIRST DECADE of the new millennium was awash with musical gems that were loved and adored by the whole country, then promptly pushed to the back of our minds.

When we say “almost forgotten”, we don’t mean the songs that are still played regularly, having crossed over into “ironic enjoyment” territory.

For example, you can’t move in an Irish nightclub without hearing Mark McCabe’s one-hit wonder, Maniac 2000. We’re not talking about him.

We mean the ones don’t even cross your mind until you hear them again and realise you still remember every word, whether you like it or not.

20. I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair) – Sandi Thom

This song is the definition of cringe. Sandi, what were you thinking? This twee, pseudo-protest song that hearkened back to the days when “computers were still scary” should never have seen the light of day.

And it was huge in 2006. What were WE thinking?

Punkrocker

Source: Wikimedia

19. 3 of a Kind – Babycakes

Awful song, awful video, extremely awkward band members – but it seemed to work for 3 of a Kind as their single, Babycakes, was a hit in 2004.

The odd thing about this is that the band didn’t even hint at a follow up track, or album, or anything. They just disappeared from the face of the earth. Probably for the best.

babycakes

18. Uncle Kracker – Follow Me

Follow Me inexplicably went to number one in the Irish charts in 2001, despite the fact that doesn’t seem to be about anything at all and features the blandest melody since, well, ever.

Uncle_Kracker_Follow_Me

Source: Wikimedia

17. What If – Kate Winslet

What If is technically very, very bad. Bad from a lyrics point of view; bad because Kate’s voice isn’t particularly strong; bad because it attempts to make us FEEL something, and our icy cold hearts won’t allow that.

Luckily, Kate has stuck to acting since this was released in 2001.

KATE+WINSLET+-+WHAT+IF+SINGLE

Source: BlogSpot

16. The JCB Song – Nizlopi

This so-cute-it-makes-you-sick song about a kid who wants to escape the bullies with his dad on a JCB went to number one around the end of 2005.

It doesn’t hold up these days, but you’ll probably still join in on the “I’M LUKE I’M FIVE AND MY DAD’S BRUCE LEE/DRIVES ME ROUND IN HIS JCB” part.

51K5lJOADrL

Source: Images-amazon

15. Butterfly – Crazy Town

The coolest thing about this song is the guitar riff, which it turns out is a sample borrowed from a Red Hot Chilli Peppers song. Unfortunate, because the lyrics are entirely embarrassing to sing.

Probably due to the fact they were written by lads that named themselves Shifty Shellshock and Epic Mazur.

Crazy_Town_-_Butterfly_cd_promo

Source: Wikimedia

14. Eamon – F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back)

This song was controversial for its frequent use of profanities – so naturally we all went out and bought it, keeping it in the Irish charts for 17 weeks.

Luckily for Eamon, the excessive swearing hid the fact that the song was extremely, mind-numbingly dull.

fkit

Source: Amazon

13. There’s A Whole Lot of Loving – Six

We think the country would prefer to forget this entirely, but it lives on, like a cockroach that scuttles out of sight every time you come close to squishing it for good.

We’re exaggerating a little. It’s not that bad.

Of course, it’s not that GOOD either.

sixpopstars

12. I Don’t Wanna Know – Mario Winans ft P Diddy and Enya

This song sampled The Fugees as well as Enya’s tune Boadicea, and was number 13 on the list of best selling singles of 2004.

Remember that? Probably not. But we bet you’re singing the chorus now, aren’t you?

mario

11. Bad Day – Daniel Powter

A song so sweet it gave you a toothache (with a drippy video to match), Bad Day was massive worldwide and duly landed at number one in the Irish charts in 2005. Then we promptly turned our backs and forgot about poor Daniel.

The song has since been covered by Alvin and the Chipmunks for the 2007 film of the same name. Grim.

Worst 48  Bad Day, Daniel Powter

Source: BlogSpot

10. Hey There Delilah – Plain White T’s

The world fell in love with Hey There Delilah in 2007, when every girl wished a boy would write a similarly soppy song for her.

The song is still cute and all, but we’re pretty much over it.

allcdcoversplainwhitetsga2

Source: Imageshack

9. Dancing in the Moonlight – Toploader

Toploader continued to make music after the huge success of their cover of King Harvest’s Dancing in the Moonlight in 2000, which still gets the odd spin every now and then.

However we challenge you to name one other song of theirs. Without Googling.

Toploader - Dancing In The Moonlight - 5 CD SINGLE-158948

Source: Eil

8. Fascination – Alphabeat

Alphabeat stuck around for another single and album after Fascination, but they will forever be known for this 2008 runaway hit.

Fortunately for the Danish group, it’s still a hugely enjoyable ditty.

0000313318_500

Source: 7static

7. HelloGoodbye – Here (In Your Arms)

Here (In Your Arms) was bleedin’ massif in 2007, a year when sensitive love songs seemed to win out.

Seven years later (yes, 2007 was seven years ago), it still sounds surprisingly fresh and extremely danceable.

4661

Source: Lololyrics

6. Shackles (Praise You) – Mary Mary

Probably the only song by a gospel act to grace the list, Mary Mary had us unwittingly thanking God as we boogied in 2000.

We would prefer praise them for writing this excellent song, to be honest.

marymary

Source: Eternal Soul

5. Mad World – Michael Andrews and Gary Jules

Recorded for the soundtrack of Donnie Darko in 2001, this stripped-back cover of Tears for Fears’ Mad World was adored across the world when it was finally released as a single in 2003.

Why? It’s awesome, and just as haunting today.

Jules_Mad_World

Source: Wikimedia

4. What Would You Do – City High

Probably one of the earliest musical opponents of slut-shaming, this song made a huge dent in the charts in 2001.

City High may have disappeared from the radar, but the message is still relevant, and the chorus is still brilliant.

City-High-What-Would-You-Do-396542

Source: Everyinstrumental

3. Breathe – Blu Cantrell ft Sean Paul

Sean-a-Paul was fairly popular over on these shores, but who the hell was Blu Cantrell? We don’t know, but we certainly loved her in 2003 when we sent her to number one in the Irish charts.

No complaints with the track now though – it’s still a certified TUNE.

Blu Cantrell - Breathe - 5 CD SINGLE-366535

Source: Eil

2. Absolutely Everybody – Vanessa Amorosi

With all the hallmarks of a ’00s hit – vaguely salsa-inspired beat, bongo drums, a little bit anthemic – how could we not fall in love with Absolutely Everybody?

Sadly, though Vanessa was a big star in her native Australia, she never had another hit on these shores.

We still have this, Vanessa. We still have this.

Vanessa Amorosi - Absolutely Everybody - 5 CD SINGLE-269685

Source: Eil

1. We’ve Got The World – Mickey (“Mickey Joe”) Harte

She stands under moonlight. She touches her hair.

We feel this may be a controversial number one, but we stand by it. We’ve Got The World is cheesy, and it may be tainted by its association with the Eurovision, but dammit if it isn’t an iconic Irish single.

Come on everybody! Sing with us! “As we watch the sun and the moon go round/As we watch my FEET NEVER TOUCH THE GROUUUUUND.”

mickey

Source: Thejournal

We’ve put all these wonderful one-hit wonders in a Spotify playlist for you all. Make sure to put it on ‘Private Session’ before you listen, though. Just a tip.

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