IT’S NOT THAT we don’t understand you, you’re just doing it wrong.
1. Why can’t you queue?
Oh no, just knock in there in front of us, we were just standing here for the craic.
2. What exactly is in green beer?
We assume it’s food dye so the next question will be… WHY?
3. Why do you assume we’re going to murder you if we say hi on the street?
4. Why can’t you keep up on the paths like we can?
We’re not quite judging your need to move in crowds, but at least try to keep up the pace, or spread out so we can get through.
5. Story with your milk?
Seriously.
6. Why do you drive at least 20 times faster than we do?
Stop signs are just for show abroad. * clings to rental car, never moves*
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7. Where do you learn your Irish slang from?
When you detect our accent, all hell breaks loose.
Is it. IS it?
8. How do you actually function in that climate?
It’s too hot. It’s too cold. I can’t adjust.
- every Irish person abroad.
9. You call that a measure?
You’re not fooling us with your doubles, that’s a single in Irish speak.
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10. Why are your pharmacies not more suspicious of us?
* buys all the solpadeine with no questions asked*
11. Why do you call it well done when it’s actually bleeding?
Well done in Ireland:
Well done in France:
12. Why does your fast food taste so weird?
Your Fanta, on the other hand, tastes amazing.
