ONE CENT AND two-cent coins are the work of the devil. They should be abolished, and banished from this earth.
They’re not pocket change – they’re POXY change.
Here is why.
They weigh down your pockets awkwardly
This is especially unpleasant in hot weather. The sensation of a pocketful of change rubbing against a sweaty leg is a terrible torment.
They cause that awkward moment when you’re waiting for 1c change
And you feel ridiculous standing there, but also ridiculous walking away.
And then when you drop it in the charity box, you feel scabby
Even though you’re giving to charity. I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP A LITTLE TINY BIT.
Or worse, when a shop assistant asks if you can let them off as they don’t have it
And of course you do. But somehow you still feel bitter and cheated inside. WHY ARE WE PUTTING OURSELVES THROUGH THIS?
They make your purse or wallet all heavy and you feel rich
But then you count it all out and it’s only €1.44
You have to fumble endlessly through the change to get the right amount
While other people in the queue burn holes through you with their angry, angry eyes. HEY, I’M ONLY TRYING TO DO MY BEST WITHIN THE SYSTEM.
And still somehow you never have *it *quite* right
They somehow accumulate in all corners and unseen areas of your house
In drawers, down the sofa, on top of the microwave… Why is there change on the side of the bath?
Even vending machines don’t accept them. The only way to get rid of them is to dump them on the bus.
And even then, you’re going to get a dirty look from the driver.
Basically, we are prisoners of 1c and 2c coins.
Why are we letting this happen? They need to be gone. GONE.
What do you think? Are 1c and 2c coins…