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mad world

6 weird things that happened this week

FIFA leads to a man stapling his bits, a missing kangaroo and dueling dinosaurs – the bizarre news stories you might have missed.

IT’S TRUE WHAT they say: in a world gone mad, only the mad are sane.

So if you’re a little too sane to keep up with the world’s more unusual carry-on, never fear – DailyEdge.ie does all that hard stuff for you. We’ve combed through the oddest news around to bring you the wildest of the weird. 

Wext Texans were hopping mad this week as a pet kangaroo went on the loose. Police thought the call from the emergency services was a gag as residents reported seeing the kangaroo bopping along the road. After a brief car chase, the kangaroo was recaptured and returned to its owner. What’s that, Skip? “They’ll never take me alive”? Right you are, Skip. (AP)

A 507-year-old mollusc has been confirmed as the world’s oldest living creature, then killed by scientists checking its age. The clam, nicknamed “Ming”, was originally thought to be 405, but the bumbling scientists had miscalculated on their first research attempt. Who are these so-called scientists anyway? Someone fetch the P45. (Mirror)

The internet superstar Batman bin Suparman has turned out a great deal less heroic than previously suspected. The 23-year-old Singaporean, who became a viral sensation for his incredible name, was jailed for stealing his brother’s ID and using heroin. Stealing his brother’s ID? Because being called “Batman” wasn’t good enough for him? Oh, come ON. (DailyEdge.ie)

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Fossils of two dinosaurs that perished while locked in a death-match could fetch up to $9 million at auction. This would be a record price, with the most expensive fossil thus far being a T. Rex called Sue. Ol’ Sue pulled down an impressive €8.7 million at auction in 1997. The “dueling dinosaurs” have been deemed the most well-preserved ever found, even including pieces of skin. They do move in herds. (Yahoo)

Army officers in Senegal can no longer marry outside of their pay grade.  Women were first permitted to join the Senegalese army in 2008. The marriage ban is being introduced to preserve “discipline” in the ranks. Smells like the start of a fantastic rom-com script to us. (Reuters)

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A Leeds University student “stapled his testicles” as a forfeit for losing a FIFA game. The game was part of an organised “FIFA Forfeits Sunday” day at his halls of residence. Nathan Bells, the stapler in question, said “It brought a tear to my eye.” More like Nathan Balls, am I right? I’m so right. (Metro)

A python in a pizza, wizards calling 999 and a bust-up bingo brawl – it’s all the other weird news>