13 reasons why manflu is the worst illness ever

It’s definitely not a made-up thing. No sir.

29/09/12 26,022 Views 73 Comments

Despair, thy name is manflu

Image: Gribiche via Flickr

THEY SAY IT’S a man’s world. That men have it easy. That men are hard, and tough, and proud.

But there is one thing that can make even the hardiest man quake in his Barratts boots. And that word is ‘manflu’.

Some dismiss this feared condition as a mere fiction, invented by males so they can stay in bed and watch Countdown. But those who have suffered know the pain.

You can tell them by the thousand-yard stare; by the dignity of their suffering; by the sense of brotherhood they share with other victims.

But most of all, you can tell them by these tweets:

13 reasons why manflu is the worst illness ever

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Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome
Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

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Michael Freeman

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Mike Clinton 29/09/12 #

2 179

As a survivor of the dreaded and quite often fatal ‘manflu’ I made some notes as I hovered between this life and the next I can only offer my experience and the only cure that worked for me.
1. Hot whiskey.. Preferably a single malt bushmills.
2. Remote control for the tv (with fresh batteries of course)
3.Constant supply of freshly made finger food.
4. Peace zone with a ‘NO NAGGING’ zone.
5. No child zone.
6. When the rigors set in the partner must break out the baby oil for a massage (to keep the blood flowing of course)
7. Under no circumstances should you approach a sufferer with personal problems.
9 . Never compare ‘childbirth’ because it’s not in the same league . Nor say “it’s only a sniffle” because the psycoligical damage is fatal.
10. Guinness,Murphys are acceptable remedies.
By following these guidelines the sufferer just might get through this horrendus illness.

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- Stephen Hession 29/09/12 #
  
  2 62
  
  Oh thank god u done that list!! I feel ready now, do your worst mother nature I shall have the tools to survive …….. Maybe add Fifa 13 as well to list sniff sniff
  
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gary power 29/09/12 #

5 230

Take a look at this video on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/6keUdzwFCHU

This a story of a surviver of man flu .. Very upsetting

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- Jim Brady 29/09/12 #
  
  5 97
  
  Thank you for link to one of the funnies videos Ive seen in years, it’s just priceless. Id give you ten green thumbs if i could!
  
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- Dmc 29/09/12 #
  
  1 44
  
  Brilliant!!!!
  
  Reply
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- LittleSparrowC 29/09/12 #
  
  3 144
  
  I am actually living with someone who has manflu at the moment . So stressful looking at him suffer. Grunting. Snotty nose . heavy breathing shivering . Tell me how can I make it go away . Men are so brave . Is there a helpline I can contact ?
  
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- karla carroll 29/09/12 #
  
  1 60
  
  Tell me about it, its going on 3 weeks..
  
  Im fit to crack up!
  
  Reply
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- Ciaran MacAoidh 29/09/12 #
  
  5 91
  
  No, LittleSparrow, there’s no helpline because the matriarchy just don’t care about the suffering of men. Nothing is being done and meanwhile our noses are getting all red and chapped.
  
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Alan J McGrath 29/09/12 #

8 309

Not to be sneezed at

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- John McGuirk 29/09/12 #
  
  11 170
  
  As a victim, I am grateful to The Journal for highlighting this issue.
  
  But where is our Government? Where are our TDs? What’s being done about this? They’re all too busy gobbling down expenses and driving around in shiny ministerial mercedes to recognise the manflu crisis that is tearing our country apart. Is it any co-incidence that this outbreak happened the same week that James Reilly took his eye off the ball?
  
  They’ve lost my vote, that’s for sure. *sniffle*
  
  Reply
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- moe sizlack 29/09/12 #
  
  13 180
  
  Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed
  and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful
  condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are
  the greatest heroes this country has ever known.
  
  Reply
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Pearse 29/09/12 #

1 105

As a proud dad I now feel ashamed for longing to have sons knowing what lies ahead for them….

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Dec Rowe 29/09/12 #

6 167

Why is this in the daily edge section!!! This is serious stuff!

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Gerard 29/09/12 #

10 233

I’m a survivor of this condition, barely. Alas, I’ve lost alot of good friends to the dreaded affliction

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Matt Donovan 29/09/12 #

0 46

Why is there no national day day of action for this scourge of mankind? Why no day of mourning to remember our fallen brothers? It is an outrage I tell you! The men I meet in my support group are an inspiration & if it wasn’t for them I don’t know how I’d have gotten through it. RIP my brothers. We will not forget.

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Clawlorphoto 29/09/12 #

1 64

I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy..

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Simon Finglas 29/09/12 #

1 63

http://youtu.be/VbmbMSrsZVQ

As an emergency paramedic I’ve regularly attended cases like this. Some nearly fatal as the women left if so late to call us.

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- LittleSparrowC 29/09/12 #
  
  0 59
  
  Is it true the only cure for manflu is . no nagging from wife partner girlfriend . No housework . Lots of pampering . The offer of sympathy sex and a week in Ibiza with their friends to recover ?
  
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- LittleSparrowC 29/09/12 #
  
  0 15
  
  Is it true the only cure for manflu is . no nagging from wife partner girlfriend . No housework . Lots of pampering . The offer of sympathy sex and a week in Ibiza with their friends to recover ?
  
  Reply
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Albert McEinstein 29/09/12 #

7 150

Where’s MY mini-marathon?

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Brendan 29/09/12 #

1 58

Is the http://www.ManFluIreland.Com Support Group still operating?

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iBob101 29/09/12 #

0 33

There ought to be some kind of memorial for victims of Manflu. Something tasteful in Merrion Square, say, like a giant bronze snot rag ridden with boogers?

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- Mike Clinton 29/09/12 #
  
  0 18
  
  There is Bob. The “memorial” is on display in the most sacred of sacred places. Known only to the few as Utopia.
  It’s a place that actually exists and the chosen few are happy to lead those that have proven worthy to the sacred watering hole known as “The Pub”.
  
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JP SHERRY 29/09/12 #

4 89

Bob Geldof is holding a concert to help those affected and I think Bono is meeting with important people to highlight the problem.
We can’t stand by while people are “dying” of flu!!

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- JP SHERRY 29/09/12 #
  
  2 24
  
  Seriously Jaws have you nothing better to be doing? Go away, I have no time for things like you.
  
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JP SHERRY 29/09/12 #

3 76

Are you having a slow day Mr.Shark? Your writing “slow day” under all the articles on here?
Go for a walk, the sun is shining and the birds are in the trees

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MaverickPaw 29/09/12 #

2 62

interestingly manflu is a great sacrifice made on behalf of the whole of humanity. We men take the Bullet of this most heinous virus so that women don’t have to suffer. you’re welcome :)

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Hope Lasts 29/09/12 #

6 105

very sad, i had a very mild case, was off work for a week, some werent so lucky. my prayers are with them. more research is needed into this horrible condition.

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- Celtic Lady 29/09/12 #
  
  253 33
  
  A week off work with a snotty nose ! And we wonder why the place is bankrupt.
  
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- Gary Dunne 29/09/12 #
  
  1 185
  
  @celticlady: The only affliction worse than man flu is irony deficiency #CreateACureForTheIronyDeficient
  
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- mick k 29/09/12 #
  
  4 11
  
  Manflu v kidney infection, which is worse?
  
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Oliver Walker 29/09/12 #

0 30

Man flu gets Chuck Norris…..

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Kathleen Charlonis 29/09/12 #

1 34

After reading the comments I wonder what happens in a gay household when two partners come down with manflu? Are these deaths going unreported because of a lack of females to notice the illness or is this just a disease that strikes straight men?

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- Mike Clinton 29/09/12 #
  
  13 3
  
  @ Kathleen.. I suppose that would depend on both parties being male.
  Mind you….. ;-)
  
  Reply
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- Chuck Farrelly 29/09/12 #
  
  1 30
  
  Well here’s the thing. If it’s a lesbian couple and their cycles aren’t in sync then that means for 2 weeks a month one of them is “emotional”. That’s half the time! And if they ARE in sync then…..jesus! It must be full on armageddon every time!
  
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- Kathleen Charlonis 29/09/12 #
  
  0 27
  
  It’s called menstrageddon! Thank you very much.
  
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dublindad02 29/09/12 #

19 168

Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact.

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- Tony Kavanagh 05/04/13 #
  
  0 1
  
  At least childbirth is over and done with in a short space of time! They don’t know how lucky they are.
  
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Alvean Jones 29/09/12 #

0 21

This is hilarious, and I am enjoying all the comments! :D

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Con O'sullivan 29/09/12 #

6 71

You girls don’t know how lucky you really are.

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M 29/09/12 #

8 85

This brought a tear to my eye. As a woman I can only imagine what those poor men went through. To go through something so crippling and survive to live a perfectly normal and healthy life is a beacon of light for us all.

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- Debi-Nikita Rathbone-Rentzke 29/09/12 #
  
  47 22
  
  Oh M… You made laugh… I know what you have been through.. It happened to me the first time too, until I found the perfect remedy called ‘ignore’. It has a success rate of 85% – try it next time.
  
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Chuck Eastwood 29/09/12 #

2 38

Is your name jimima by any chance. Another female in disguise trying to belittle the crusade………. Sorry I had to stop and wipe away the tears thinking lost comrades. The crusade against this terrible fate must not end due to the lack of understanding. Be strong brother be strong and remember girls. Seedless grapes

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Andrew Telford 29/09/12 #

2 35

It’s unfair I say…

Women can joke and laugh about so called man-flu all day long but point out one indication of PMS and we have to go have a chat with the eternally cramping she-dragon human resources….

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- John F 29/09/12 #
  
  8 27
  
  Double standards Andrew backed up by negative stereotypes of men portrayed by the media, How about the Journal do a few light hearted articles on Chronic PMS or full grown women running away from teeny weeny spiders!
  
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Annie 29/09/12 #

0 17

Lmfao @ they video. How they keep a straight face

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Petrena Browne 29/09/12 #

0 17

Reading all these comments is the best laugh I’ve had in ages! Thanks folks :)

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Dave Kavanagh 29/09/12 #

5 52

Serious condition for men but curable however if it happens to cross the gender divide it morphs into a female condition that can be fatal.

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- Gerard 29/09/12 #
  
  27 104
  
  Prob as a result of women having a much lower threshold for pain I’d imagine.
  
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- M 29/09/12 #
  
  5 304
  
  True Gerald, I’ve given birth twice, it hurt; but the day my husband came down with man-flu was the most humbling day of my life. The strength he showed even though I knew he was suffering. What an inspiration!
  
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- Chuck Farrelly 29/09/12 #
  
  27 65
  
  How do women do it? How do they go through a natural process with nothing more than the support of a team of medical professionals, pain medication that renders your completely numb and 6 months off work? #heroines And when it’s over they never even mention it! Wow. Just wow.
  
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Karen 0 Mahony 29/09/12 #

42 232

Research has shown that the longer the sufferer is pampered, the longer the symptoms persist!

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- Jim Brady 29/09/12 #
  
  5 171
  
  A scurrilous accusation.
  It’s this kind of cavalier attitude from someone who has clearly never suffered the trauma, that promotes ignorance and underfunding of this misunderstood affliction.
  More research is needed particularly in the spheres of “make it all go away” and “my mother used to understand, so whay can’t yooooooouuuuuuuu??
  
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- Gerard 29/09/12 #
  
  6 140
  
  I think Karens insensitive comment should be reported and deleted immediately
  
  Reply
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- Debi-Nikita Rathbone-Rentzke 29/09/12 #
  
  77 33
  
  Very true Karen.. The perfect remedy/cure to this affliction, is to ignore it altogether.. Surprisingly how fast it goes away then..
  
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- M 29/09/12 #
  
  6 203
  
  Karen and Debi, it’s women like ye that make me ashamed to be female. How can ye be so insensitive when it comes to such a serious life-threatening condition. There needs to be a lot more awareness on how a girlfriends/wifes indifference can be fatal. I should know, my husband was lucky to survive and it was all my fault. His hearing has been severely affected. I could call him to do something when he’s watching telly but sadly he never hears me now. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
  
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- Kathleen Charlonis 29/09/12 #
  
  32 14
  
  You are absolutely right Karen! I ignore my husband after a day or two it stops.
  
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- Owen Blackburn 29/09/12 #
  
  6 5
  
  And your point is ????
  
  Reply
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Matt Murphy 29/09/12 #

2 22

i get this every year,and every year i stare death in the face…the woman laughs,yet on the other hand would comment about the pain on giving birth…women dont know no pain like man flu,they dont understand..my left nostril is running a bit today so i fear it could be on the way…its going to be a long painful week

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Aundrea O'Connor 29/09/12 #

3 25

I can’t… I just can’t say anything. My partners case lasted a full 6 weeks last year. My deepest sympathy to all those affected by man flu, it’s not pretty.

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Danielle Reck 29/09/12 #

2 19

Thank you for highlighting the plight of manflue. Such a serious illness and its really not to be sniffed at. I will be lighting a candle for all those affected by and lost to this tragic sickness

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Mark L'ingarde 29/09/12 #

6 29

Between this and shaving most days it certainly puts a mild tummy ache once a month into perspective.

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Nicky Power 30/09/12 #

1 6

It’s 8:04am, everyone else is gone (home), i am the last survivor. The Lucozade is nearly gone and Im down to one strepcil. For god sake, look after our people…

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Suzanne Savage 29/09/12 #

8 16

Great fun til the Ladybashers showed up!
For shame!
This is supposed to be about MAN FLU! …sounds like you’re coming down with it – it can cause paranoia if left untreated.. ;-)
P.s. spiders are cool. Lets leave them outa this..

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Shane Callaghan 30/09/12 #

1 4

There should be at least one ‘mobile man flu screen van’ per county working on a 7 day 16 hour shift to tackle this serious condition

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Mary Marmion Kilcoole 01/10/12 #

0 2

I have witnessed this condition in several womenfolk…they have managed to get over it and themselves

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Michelle Frawley 30/09/12 #

1 3

The guy with the picture of the lemsip def a fake no man ever takes drugs with man flu

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Soul Trader 30/09/12 #

2 4

Perhaps this modern day illness can also be blamed for the recession… The male developers, male bankers, male Taoisigh, male Ministers for Finance… would explain a lot. It’s hard to think straight when so sick.

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John F 29/09/12 #

68 36

Interesting to see that any sexism directed towards males makes for great tv commercials and light hearted reading but when its directed towards females it’s bring out the Feminist Brigade!!
It’s a bit Ironic really women inventing a word to infer that men are hypochondriacs and can’t cope with a little virus when statistically they are twice as likely to call in sick to work than men…. Hmmmmmm

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T.w. Farrell 29/09/12 #

9 6

If they have time or the energy to tweet or to post on facebook then they do not have Manflu!

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Sandra Fox 29/09/12 #

36 15

Saps!! Man up and grow a pair for the love of god!

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- Little Jim 29/09/12 #
  
  2 41
  
  This may be a bit of fun for you Sandra, but I died from Man-Flu just last year.
  DIED!
  
  Reply
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Blathín Sullivan 29/09/12 #

94 25

Another columnist on the site would call ‘Man Flu’, “heteronormative Jackassery”!

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13 reasons why manflu is the worst illness ever

It’s definitely not a made-up thing. No sir.

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

Manflu, Scourge of the Y Chromosome

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