NIDGE AND THE boys are coming back.
It was widely expected, but RTÉ officially confirmed last night that filming will begin in the spring on the gangland drama’s fourth season.
You may remember the national hysteria (practically) of November and December 2012. There wasn’t a blue hoodie to be had in shops anywhere.
So what do we want to see in the new series? We’ve got a few thoughts. Add your own in the comments!
1. Fran The Man
He’s coming back! We can expect excellent topless dancing (see left)
A lot of breakfast rolls:
And casual sex with women in body paint:
Possibly initiated by his trademark line, “Are you a ladyburd or a duuurtburd?” Coola boola.
2. More of the Real IRA
Series three ended with Tony on top…
… and Lizzie having shaved her head to execute revenge for her brothers’ deaths:
Surely we can expect the threat level to notch up in season four.
3. More of Nidge’s excellent faces
OK, he really just has two. (1) Happy:
4. Extravagant threats
5. Plenty of animal-print underwear
They LOVE it in gangland. Love the stuff. Also, strutting about in one’s keks is pretty much de rigeur for a gangland moll.
“Leopards, zebras – whatever. Just skin it and put it on my boobs.”
6. Useful parenting tips
New mums and dads tuned in to season three to learn a few things.
Places to bring your little one: A brothel.
Activities for your little one: Rolling up a fat one.
7. Pleather jackets
Dude, we turned up in matching black pleather jackets AGAIN. Morto for us.
8. Poor gangland parking skills
They might be able to run an international drug and weapon smuggling ring, but they cannot park an SUV to save their lives.
“Now reverse, and try that again.”
“Better, but you’re a little too far forward.”
Last season brought us mainly seagulls:
and Catholic iconography:
What will the writers pick for season 4?
10. More pets for Aido
There’s no way Aido is passing the series without adding to his menagerie. His budgie died:
And then he got a mini macaw:
Frankly, we don’t rate its survival chances. Expect a fish eagle or something like that in series four.
11. What the Real IRA do in their time off
We’ve already learned that they love diagrams:
and topless tapdancing:
Stand by for an insight into their fierce taste for Babycham, and the dastardly dealings of the Crochet Club High Command.
We still haven’t ruled out the possibility that he could survive his very-fatal-looking shooting…
and bring his blue hoodie back to our screens.
Also, the way he might look at you.
Please come back, Darren.
Got any predictions yourself? Leave them in the comments…