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Dublin: 6 °C Thursday 28 March, 2024
the horror the horror

11 worst bits from John Travolta's Christmas video

It’s a song with Olivia Newton-John. He may be trying to take Christmas away from us.

SOOOOO…. JOHN Travolta and Olivia Newton-John have a Christmas video.

It’s for their song, which ironically is called ‘I Think You Might Like It’.

Here’s how it goes down:

1. The introduction

That’s it, I’m calling my lawyer. They definitely ripped that font off my Geocities homepage.

2. First sight of J-Trav and Olivia. They’re linedancing.

First thisaway:

Then thataway:


3. Travolta smiles terrifyingly

And, um, did we mention his chin hair? LOOK AT HIS CHIN HAIR. YOU HAVE SOMETHING GROWING THERE, JOHN.

4. WAIT, HE’S FLYING A PLANE

This is completely unexplained.

5. Meanwhile, Olivia Newton-John is in the car

And she’s waving to nobody. Literally, to nobody. There is nobody there, Olivia. *shakes head sadly*

7. Hello again, John Travolta! Oh, you’re doing a dance.

Yep.

8. Possibly because his plane is just a giant flying bar

Which doesn’t make much sense, but listen. Have we got a plane that’s also a bar? No, we haven’t.

9. THE JUMPERS. THE JUMPERS

Do you need to take a moment to rinse your eyes in carbolic acid? Ahhh. That’s better.

10. Now these soldiers are dancing too


11. This is the worst bit of all

Sure, it looks innocuous. But here’s the thing.

“We’re gonna hide away, making love all night”.

That’s the words they sing.

Cannot. Be. Unthought.

Here’s his chin hair again to calm you down:

Now, you can watch it for yourself:

YouTube/OliviaNewtonJohnVEVO

Guilty pleasure alert: Olivia and John record Christmas album>

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