OMIGOD. Omigodomigodomigod. The new iPhone is finally on its way, launching next Wednesday after months of speculation.
It’s thought that the new model will be slimmer, with a larger screen and more powerful processor.
And according to a number of people on Twitter, it will also solve all these problems:
1. Singledom
2. Having To Make Coffee
3. Low Self Esteem
4. Singledom (Glass Half Full Edition)
5. Lack Of Fire In Pockets
6. Cheating Other Half
7. Insufficient Sexual Encounters with Owners of Lesser iPhones, Or Something
8. Don't Know What This Means, But It Sounds Totally Wise
9. Conflict In The Middle East
