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Dublin: 6 °C Tuesday 18 June, 2013

‘It’s got lasers’*. Our favourite quotes from iPhone 5 reviews

We read the iPhone 5 reviews, so you don’t have to. (*may not be an actual line from an actual review, but it’s close).

Loot at it there. Radiant.
Loot at it there. Radiant.
Image: Matt Grayson/PA Wire

“IT HAS A laser keyboard, holographic images and other cool new features” – WNYW

Ok, to be fair to Lidia Curanaj from New York Fox News affiliate WNYW, she may not have actually got her hands on a review model of the iPhone 5 before her enthusiastic review.

It turns out, according to Mashable, that the report was based on a concept video from Aatma Studio in San Francisco, which features a fantasy phone which does have a holographic keyboard. Morto.



Uploaded by: Ralphardi

“The iPhone fit just fine in my pants, too: the extra length has been traded out for less girth, so there’s little bulge” – CNET

Did it just get a little hot in here? CNET’s review of the ‘bulge in pants’ aspects of the new iPhone is teetering on x-rated! Ok, ok, maybe we’re being hysterical, and to be fair to the reviewers, they acknowledge the awkward nature of the statement.

CNET’s review, apart from going a little 50 Shades of Gray on us, is also very thorough, and gives clear ideas about the size of the new phone, and it’s new features. It gets two very enthusiastic thumbs up from the CNET reviewers.

“Unlike the old-style earbuds, they don’t make my ears feel like I’ve stuffed a couple of bumblebees into them” – Time Magazine

We have been searching for a phrase which aptly describes how we feel with earphones in, and by gum, Harry McCracken from Time has cracked it.

He also compares Apple’s new earphones as ‘a bit like two tiny hairdryers’ and concludes that ‘Apples’ mojo remains fully operational’.

“The white phone is bright and clean-looking; the black, dark and menacing” – Endgadget

Are we supposed to be afraid of our phones? I’m not sure I want something menacing glaring at me from the bedside locker.

“Should you buy it? Of course you should. The iPhone 5 is an improvement on what is already the best mobile phone ever created. So why wouldn’t you jump at the chance?” – Gizmodo

Our favourite review might have come almost a year ago though, when Gizmodo’s fake iPhone5 roundup hit the internet and came to pretty much the same conclusion that everyone has come to this week, that the iPhone5 is DEADLY. But don’t take my word for it. I have an iPhone4. I just bought it recently. Am I bitter? Nah*.

*I am a little bit.

Apple gets record 2 million orders for the iPhone 5>

7 things you could buy instead of the iPhone 5>

Read next:

Comments (39 Comments)

  • All this bitchin about who invented what blah blah blah…..Alexander Graham Bell deserves all the credit

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  • …. then I got a letter from this fruit company telling me I didn’t need to worry bout money no more…

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  • That’s exactly how I hold my iPhone all the time.

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  • Mobile phones, who would have thought, fifteen years ago that they would generate so much debate and indeed wealth.

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  • Q: How do you milk a sheep?
    A: Release a new iPhone.

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  • Shouldn’t take too long to transfer three contacts lol

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  • Ireland is at the bottom of Apples waiting list

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  • How do you like them Apples?

    I want one!!

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  • Simply please give me example of better 15 inch laptop than macbook pro retina, example of ultrabook better than macbook air, example of better tablet than new ipad or better music player example than new ipod. Love it or hate it, but its apple’s game. Dinner leftovers for competition :)

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    • Asus make some lovely laptops now, the most lovely thing on the macbook pro that I haven’t come across on other laptops is the trackpad, it’s fantastic! But it seams Asus have a trackpad that feels slightly different, but your finger glides across it just as effortlessly as the macbook pro, then it’s just a matter of hardware which isn’t a problem.
      Macbook Air is probably the best ultrabook all right.
      The Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 is better than the iPad 3 for sure.
      And as for the iPod, well, that’s still the best in it’s league too.
      It’s most definitely not Apples game. Add price/value for money into the mix and Apple looses more traction.

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    • Paul: Asus Zenbook which is best non-apple ultrabook is not bad at all, but it still slightly behind Macbook Air in overall comparison. I am glad you’re not afraid to admit that :)
      You say Samsung 10.1 Tablet – I say you are wrong big time :)
      I know you probably won’t believe me, but I have 10.1… definitely best thing about it is multi pressure stylus pen and sort of multitasking – 2 windows next to each other. It’s god android tablet, but saying Note 10.1 is beter than iPad New (3) is complete madness! 10.1 screen is joke compare to new iPad, it’s even joke to compared to say Asus Inifinity TFT700, which has best screen amongs non-iPad tablets, but still worse than the new iPad. What is that 1024x720 or so in the 3rd quarter of 2012? Samsung, oh really ? :)
      Then have a look at 10.1 build. iPad is absolute premium class, there is no bad spot in it. Note 10.1 is cheap plastic, push bit harder at the back cover and it dents forth and back.
      Now talk about performance. iPad 3 loaded with apps and stuff still works as fast as day 1.
      Note 10.1 drops in performance a lot after reaching number of apps. This is not my imagination, google note 10.1 slowdown.
      Then finally, check available apps and how many actually makes any serious use of its stylus pen.
      Samsung Note 10.1 – interesting tablet and worth having one, but probably not the best of all android tablets.
      And then – the best android tablet is still worse than new iPad. Trust me on this one :)

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    • Paul: also you mentioned Apple is not best anymore when you consider quality / price. Another one you are wrong with as many other people who remember old times or try to compare top apple product with mediocre competition product (obviously apple much deerer then). Try to compare roughly same specs / class products and here you go:

      Asus Zenbook vs. Macbook Air – same specs (or very similar) – price is also very similar, check online buddy I quoted few online shops and they cost about the same, depending on specs from 1200 to over 1500 euros both.

      Samsung Note 10.1 vs. iPad 3 – big LOL, Samsung 16GB WiFi most places sell for 539 Euro.
      iPad 3 16GB WiFi – 479 Euro.

      Apple is most expensive…. really ?

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    • I’ll concede my pricing figures were not entirely up to date, but if you’re seeing that much of a price difference between the note and the ipad then you’re not shopping around. A quick google and I found loads of sites selling those for the same price, but you’re right, the Apple isn’t wildly more expensive.

      Regarding the slow down issues on the Note, the Note has true multi-tasking, the iPad doesn’t. the iPad never runs more than one app at a time. Run only one app at a time and see if you still get those problems. Also, I don’t have any tablets, but I’ve played around with both and I like the finish of both – I prefer the look of the Note.
      But again I don’t have one so I can’t comment further.

      Reasons I’m leaving Apple products behind:

      They’re too restrictive – Apple lock everything down.
      They don’t look after their older customers – Apple OS updates regularly require you to upgrade all your apple software to be compatible with the new OS – this costs too much money. Their complete ignorance to the Wifi Issues on the 2011 macbook pro’s pushed me over the edge. they won’t even acknowledge theirs an issue.
      I have to run windows 7 on my macbook pro to get the wifi working.
      You cannot simply copy files to your iDevices what the hell is up with that???
      You cannot customise your devices ( I realise that this is part of what makes them easy to use, but it’s a pain).
      As of this years version of the macbook pro you cannot upgrade the ram or hard drive after you purchase your device. That’s a disaster!

      Reply
  • the next big thing is alerady here
    galaxy s3 ;-)

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  • I have mine ordered, but i do like using the Samsung Galaxy3

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  • I wonder when the next Samsung Galaxy smartphone gets released will the journal will give it as much coverage as the iphone 5,are the journal receiving secret donations from Apple or something there hasn’t been a day went by without something relating to the iphone 5?zzzzzzzzzz

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  • Q: How do you know someone has an iPhone?
    A: They tell you.

    Q: How do you know someone has an iPad?
    A: They tell you.

    Q: How do you know someone has a Samsung Galaxy S3 or HTC One X
    A: You don’t unless you see them with it.

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  • ken-d 19/09/12 #

    Let the anti-iPhone rant begin…haha Ps sent from my iPhone,can’t u tell

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  • I had the iphone 3Gs. then iphone4 (and another iphone4 as I dropped my 1st one). was looking forward to upgrading to iphone5 but I’m sitting here on my new Samsung galaxy s3 that I got delivered as an upgrade today! why?? I’m not really sure! is Samsung better? it’s more confusing, iphone has everything in its app…here I have to move through screens but picture clarity is amazing…and I DETEST itunes! bane of my life. keeping iphone as backup in case I don’t warm to the change! only thing I can say for certain, is that I can honestly say which phone I prefer and not take a side purely because I own it!

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  • Emmie 19/09/12 #

    All I know is I love my 4s. I’ll upgrade it at a later date. But right now it is perfect for me.

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  • Mark 19/09/12 #

    Again?! Must be on the apple payroll at this stage!

    Ah here wil ye leave it ouu

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  • NERDS…..

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  • How do you milk a sheep.
    Release a new i phone

    Reply

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