YOU THOUGHT YOU enjoyed your trip away? You were wrong. Everything is awful.
1. Anne Frank House, Amsterdam
Don’t waste your time, just Google Beyoncé’s visit to the Anne Frank House and it’s just as good as being there.
Oh.
2. Ben Nevis, Scotland
We did get to the top and there was nothing there (Mount Snowdon has a pub, restaurant and toilets at its top). BE WARNED – there are NO facilities at the top.
Funny, that.
3. Big Ben, London
I’m glad they blew it up in V For Vendetta. It’s just a big clock and the whole experience left me unsettled.
C’mon now, that’s just mean.
4. The Great Wall of China
It wasn’t really a great wall, if anything it was just a wall. Also the amount of stairs was very tiring and at times uneven, not recommended unless you live in a gym.
Not great? Noted. *crosses Great Wall of China off ‘to see’ list*
5. Stonehenge
Yes it might hold your interest for a second or two… until you realise that at about the same time 2000 miles away, the Great Pyramids were being built. Look at a picture of Stonehenge then book a flight to Egypt.
Someday you’ll get your kudos, Stonehenge builders. Someday.
6. The Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco
We unhappy to find the color of the bridge was not exactly as it was in all the photos in all the advertisings [sic].
Fun fact: The Golden Gate Bridge is not actually made of gold.
7. Sistine Chapel, Vatican City
As I walked through the door I thought, “I’ve seen this before in my childhood, it’s like the comic my mother bought me every week called The Beano.” Little boxes with cartoons.
Are you hearing this, Michelangelo?
8. Hollywood Sign, Los Angeles
This is nothing more than a sign on the side of the Santa Monica Mountain… And yet my friends who visit still want to see it. Get a life.
We’d like to know if this reviewer still kept their friends after they found this.
9. Big Ben (again), London
Let me tell you we should rename it medium Ben. I’ve seen bigger Lego towers!
Ben does take a bashing, doesn’t he?
10. The Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
It’s all lies I can tell you in seconds how it’s built there isn’t a wonder… It’s blocks on top of blocks. The only good thing about the Sphinx is it’s right next to a McDonalds.
*never goes anywhere again, stays home until the end of time*
