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Supermarket Sweep

12 of the worst things we all do in the supermarket

The big shop is a sea of guilt.

THOSE DASHES THROUGH Tesco will never be the same again now that the sweets are removed from the tills.

But it’s just one of the many bad decisions we make during the big shop.

1. Picking up junk at the till (you’ll still manage it)

Whether it’s discounted pastries in the evening or one of the millions of varieties of Percy Pigs lining the check-out, ‘healthy shops’ are immediately abandoned once they’re spotted. Sure they’re THERE and self-control is simply asking too much of anyone.

Imgflip Mark Hillary Mark Hillary

2. Eating while shopping

If you can’t resist a packet of crisps while waiting for a till number to be called out, how on earth can you walk through a few aisles without cracking open that bottle of coke? It’s always paid for at the end like, last time we checked, this was a free country.

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3. Buying stupid offers you don’t need

Um, there’s two for one on nappies but you don’t have a baby. But doesn’t someone, and they’d be glad of them. Buy six. Free wok with purchases of 17 boxes of own-brand rice? We’re gonna need a bigger trolley.

05-Win-Supermarket-Sweep Barnorama Barnorama

Heaven is a place on earth.

Tesco Price Cut Craig Murphy Craig Murphy

4. Dressing appallingly

We draw the line at pyjamas but there’s something about going to the supermarket that excuses wearing that stained tracksuit and unsightly footwear usually reserved for lounging around the house. Just prepare to bump into everyone you know, every time.

ZenGrocery Podbean Podbean

5. Avoiding people in the aisles

You had an awkward run-in with your sister’s friend in the condiment aisle and now you’re kind of synced with her and will cross paths at LEAST six more times unless you make a radical diversion. You do, and spend the next hour wallowing in the fact that she knew.

supermarket1 Shutterstock Shutterstock

6. Leaving stuff on the wrong shelf

You’ve had second thoughts about that fruit basket once you reach the cake aisle. You can’t be bothered going all the way back so just plonk it there, grab the double chocolate fudge gateaux and DASH. And yes, your suspicions are true. The security men saw you on camera and are sitting around tutting in disgust.

a-decision-was-made-here-70940 Memeguy Memeguy

7. Forgetting something half-way through check-out

You’re checking out. “Oh I forgot milk,” you say, before running off to the furthest depths of the known universe to retrieve a carton. The queue extending down the aisle behind you hate you, but not as much as the embarrassed till attendant. Not to mention the loved ones you left behind.

You didn’t even put out the divider, just leave.

supermarket2 Mark Scott Mark Scott

8. Leaving crap in the trolley

Finding abandoned cartons or offer leaflets in the end of the trolley is the WORST. Worse than abandoning it in the middle of a parking space.

Imgflip Mark Hillary Mark Hillary

9. The samples loop

The Holy Grail, a tasty samples table. You conveniently forget something and take a detour to pass it again once you’re certain the server has probably forgotten you.

She remembers.

Appletiser-1 Brandspanking Brandspanking

10. Getting enraged by the self service check-out

For the last time, THERE IS NO DAMN BAG IN THE BAGGING AREA.

funny-scumbag-self-service-checkout-meme-600x449 Funnyasduck Funnyasduck

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11. Bringing 11 items to the 10 items or less till

Sure it’s only one more, isn’t it? That’s grand and all but it’s still one more than THE LIMIT. Chaos, havoc, what if everyone did it etc.

10-items-or-less Humoroutcasts Humoroutcasts

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12. Forgetting bags

You’re happy to spend a fiver on a pint but have to part with 15c for a bag and the guilt is crushing. Oh well, all the more stuffing for the bag press.

Bag Gyre swanksalot swanksalot

Poll: Do you buy ‘checkout sweets’? (Even though you know you shouldn’t)>

Dad takes toddler shopping for food. Toddler has other plans>

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