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Dublin: 11 °C Saturday 18 May, 2013

Far from child’s play: 9 weird, offensive and downright dangerous kids’ toys

As a breast-feeding doll goes on sale in the US, TheJournal.ie looks at some of the most ill-advised children’s products ever.

A child plays with the Breast Milk Baby
A child plays with the Breast Milk Baby
Image: YouTube

A SPANISH TOYMAKER has confirmed it will roll out its ‘Breast Milk Baby’ doll to the US – and sparked controversy in the process.

The toy comes with a special top for its owner to wear, with flower designs neatly positioned over their nipples. When the doll is held up to the nipples/flowers, it moves and makes suckling sounds. (“Chup! Chup! Chup!” according to its packaging.)

Berjuan Toys, which says it has sold “millions” of the doll in Europe, claims it aims to “teach young girls natural motherhood”. But critics have taken a dimmer view, accusing it of sexualising children. Of course, the Breast Milk Baby isn’t the first toy to spark controversy. Here TheJournal.ie looks at some other children’s products that might have been best left on the drawing board…

  • My Beautiful Mommy How to explain to the kids when you’ve had a nip and tuck? That’s the mother’s dilemma thoughtfully addressed in this children’s book by Florida surgeon Michael Salzhauer, which tells young readers the story of a little girl whose mummy gets, well, enhanced. “It is nearly impossible to hide a plastic surgery transformation from your children,” he warns darkly in the publicity material.
  • Yo-Yo Water Balls They might look innocuous enough, but these cheap, water-filled balls on the end of an elastic string have been linked to several dangerous accidents as children whirled them around their heads only for the string to get tangled around their necks. One child was reported to have turned “almost blue”. They have been banned in several jurisdictions.
  • My Cleaning Trolley Gender stereotyping? Pffft. This miniature set in fetching pink colours includes a realistic vacuum cleaner, mop and broom, spray gun and even your very own toilet plunger. And the kicker: its packaging, at least in this photo, is prominently marked “Girls Only”.
  • Mr Patel Not marketed directly to children, perhaps, but this ‘Adult Doll’ is still a perilously long way beyond acceptability. A cuddly brown-skinned man in a turban, Mr Patel utters a number of phrases including “In my country, we would’ve killed you already.”
  • Baby Alive Taking the ‘realistic doll’ idea to new heights – or, some might argue, depths – this big-eyed figurine does everything short of growing up. Most notably of all, Baby Alive poos: you feed it a baby-food-like green goo, which promptly emerges at the other end. Because changing nappies is the best fun ever.

Video: Baby Alive needs changing


  • Easy-Bake Oven Also steering close to the wind in terms sexual stereotypes – but that’s not the half of it. Manufacturers Hasbro had to recall a million of these cute pink-and-purple kids’ cookers after a “partial finger amputation”, citing the fact that small children can insert their hands into the front opening and get them caught. At least 16 children suffered second and third-degree burns.
  • Caylee Sunshine The death of toddler Caylee Anthony, and subsequent trial of her mother Casey who was found not guilty of manslaughter earlier this month, captivated the US. But perhaps none were so moved as the makers of Caylee Sunshine, a tribute doll “inspired” by the tragic toddler. The macabre figure, which is no longer available, also plays You Are My Sunshine – the tune famously sung by Caylee Anthony in a YouTube clip.
  • Aqua Dots These brightly-coloured toy beads were designed for use in arts and crafts projects. However, when several children were hospitalised after swallowing them, it emerged the Chinese-made beads contained a chemical which converts into notorious ‘date rape’ drug GHB when ingested, causing drowsiness and even unconsciousness.
  • Atomic Energy Lab You might be tempted to call this toy a classic, but it was only available for one year from 1951. Perhaps because the box set for curious youngsters included genuine uranium ore and several sources of alpha, beta and gamma radiation. There was also a Geiger counter – possibly for checking the kids’ playroom for nuclear contamination after use.

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Comments (13 Comments)

  • And i think you meant to say a cow and a bull not two cows

    Reply
  • No matter how natural or unnatural, none of it sounds like much fun! Vacuum cleaner toy, a pooping doll, nipples with sound effects? Please. Big noisy Cardboard box, a ball, and a couple of books all the way.

    Reply
  • I feel that my childhood was seriously lacking, due to my lack of chance to play with real uranium ore…

    Reply
  • I didnt say it was, i said it was natural
    why can we just let our little girls be
    Little girls ?
    You missed what i was trying to say im not saying its sexual to breast feed its far from it but why do we need to have little girls pretending to breast feed dolls ?
    I think we should let them be children they have plenty of time for all the grown up stuff in a few years
    Oh and that bit about the cows etc i live in the country havent hidden my kids eyes from anything they never seem to ask but when they do i will explain it to them.

    Reply
  • Breastfeeding is natural
    But i dont agree you a breast feeding doll
    Put it this way sex is natural too so would everyone agree with a doll to act out sex with ?
    Breast feeding is for mothers who have had babies and yes the most natural thing in the world but not for little girls

    Reply
  • Why do toys have to be pigeon-holed? What about a nice basic doll whose activities are only limited by the child’s imagination? And my 2yo son copies me with his soft toys when I’m breastfeeding his baby brother. It’s pretty cute!

    Reply
  • cheers lads you brought a smile to my face this lunchtime, now how months for Christmas, these would make some great gifts for friends, time to eBay search for the chemistry set.

    Reply
  • Looks like the market is ripe for “My Little Crackhouse”, the playhouse for socially disadvantaged kids and the “Yo Homie Drive-by doll” both Coming to a toy store near you this Christmas!

    Reply
  • How can people find this disturbing?
    The most natural thing in the world, breastfeeding.
    Bratz dolls, underwired padded training bras for 10 year olds, violent computer games, raunchy clothes, I find disturbing. Not breastfeeding.

    Reply
  • Now that’s a good subject, what was everyone’s face toy as a kid?… Mine was operation an a play doh barber shop!

    Reply
  • if breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world yet people have a problem with little girls playing with a breastfed doll…why isnt there equal controversy about all the bottle fed dolls when bottle feeding when its not the most natural thing in the world??? when i breastfed my 2nd baby, my 2yr old daughter always copied me with her doll shoved up her top…what is so disgusting about that?

    Reply
  • If you had a class of children at a pet farm & two cows started having sex, you would probably shield their eyes & find it hard to explain. If a cows calf came and suckled on it’s mother I think it’s safe to say that no eyes would averted & their would be no squeamish awkward responses to any curious questions asked.

    I doubt sincerely that little girls are going to saunter around topless with the breastfeeding attachment so I can’t truly see the you as something sexual.

    Reply

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