FOR THE FIRST time in a good few years, Electric Picnic has gone and completely sold out.
That means there are probably be a few of you who didn’t manage to get tickets and are a bit disappointed. Well, DON’T BE.
Trust us, you are infinitely better off in your lovely home this weekend. Here are a few reasons to be thankful that you’re not at Electric Picnic. We’re all in this together.
1. Cosy, cosy bed
Festival buzz? Whatever. Come talk to us about buzz when it’s 3am and you’re in a freezing, damp tent – meanwhile at home, we’re underneath a 15 tog duvet having the best night’s sleep of our lives.
Image: funnyasduck
2. A lovely bath
Carnival atmosphere? Get out of here. The rest of us at home have had long, hot, refreshing and comforting showers all weekend. You stink like a fairground donkey, mate.
Stop kidding yourself – those baby wipes do NOTHING.
Image: Flickr/Warm Sleepy
3. A moment to yourself
Non-stop revelry? Try zen-like levels of calm, and being able to actually hear yourself think.
The only peace the mad things at Electric Picnic will get this weekend are those few tortured minutes they’ll spend over the long drop.
Image: Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland
4. Homemade food (or at least the option of it)
Boutique gourmet food? Jog on. We all know Electric Picnic is more like six chip van burgers over the space of three days. Meanwhile, those of us safely at home are enjoying whatever we feel like.
Home-cooked, ordered in, eating out. Living the dream.
Image: Eamonn Farrell/Photocall Ireland
5. Running water
You take this for granted 362 days a year. Then suddenly your toilet is a trench and your sink is a bottle of hand sanitiser.
It goes without saying that we are enjoying flushing toilets at home this weekend while the unwashed masses are falling over repeatedly in a mucky field.
Image: themetapicture.com
6. Protection from the elements
No matter how much festival attendees might claim to have enjoyed the Arctic Monkeys, those of us at home can enjoy being warm and dry, sheltered from the wind and rain. Tents don’t count. You need a roof.
Are you under a roof right now? Well, thank your lucky stars – that means you’re at home rather than at Electric Picnic.
Image: cuteoverload
7. The lack of eejits
Say what you like about being at home over a festival weekend, but at least there are no eejits dancing around like mad in our sitting room.
And going out in town is a wondrous oasis – all the hipsters have magically disappeared.
YouTube/Jimmy Kimmel Live
8. Your wallet is better off
The ticket, the tent, the supplies, the food, the drink, the fun… It all adds up. And yet, those of us at home this weekend are completely in control of our finances. (Well, more or less.)
Image: eeew.net
9. Smug lack of a hangover
While many of your colleagues will be suffering through next week in agony and dread, you’ll be fine. Cheery, even. Maybe you should even whistle while you work.
That’ll show ‘em.
Image: Happy Fingers
