IRISH PEOPLE ARE known for their conviviality and easy-going demeanour.
Right? Well… Not always.
Say the wrong thing, bring up the wrong subject, and we can actually argue along with the best of them.
So, without further ado, here’s your list of topics to avoid at the pub tonight – or bring up, depending on how much of a contrary so-and-so you are…
1. Tayto or King
The eternal argument. One of life’s biggest unanswered questions. Truly one for the ages – with the potential to tear families apart and turn friend into foe.
2. In the fridge or out
Imagine your surprise when you first went over to a friend’s house to discover they kept the sliced pan in the fridge – or vice versa. Mind-boggling. See also: eggs, ketchup.
3. Tea
For various reasons. What type? How strong? Milk or sugar? Leave the teabag in or leave it out? Tea with the dinner or after? And of course, the nuclear option: Saying that you don’t like tea. Sure to prompt looks of horror and disappointment from your granny every single time you call around.
4. Getting the next round
Don’t offer, and you’re the worst in the world. Offer, and the two of you could be sitting there all night going back and forth trying to keep it even. Nightmare.
Another subject bound to cause strife is where the best pint itself can be found. People will argue tooth and nail for their favourite pub, often donning their science cap and spoofing about pipes this, nitrogen kegs that.
5. Saipan
A lot of people still have a LOT of opinions on whether or not that practice pitch was playable. A LOT of opinions. The less said the better… It’s still raw, 12 years down the line. (Incidentally, the only football-related incident more sure to spark outrage in Ireland is the Thierry Henry handball incident, which will give some idea of the level of feeling behind this one…)
6. What exactly constitutes a Full Irish
Are beans and chips meant to be involved at all? What about the role of the soda bread? Mushrooms and tomatoes are also hot buttons, sure to raise some eyebrows and break some hearts.
And you’ll definitely be arguing over control of the remote when the brand new run of RTÉ Two comedy series Damo & Ivor hits your screens this Monday the 22nd of September. If you haven’t caught it before, you’re in luck -it focuses on a satire of two brothers born separated over the banks of the Liffey. Check it out at 10pm on RTÉ Two – and no scrapping now, ya hear?