SINCE IT ARRIVED to Irish shores in 2008, Movember has grown into a veritable phenomenon. The fundraiser sees men abstain from shaving to raise both money and awareness for prostate cancer.
It’s a good thing!
Even if you support the sentiment, however, the initiative can inspire some pretty conflicted emotions.
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1. Horror
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For every thick, luxurious moustache that blooms during Movember, there are a whole load of Justin Bieber-esque ratstaches in its place.
Charity or no charity, there is no place for that in society.
2. Inadequacy
If you’re a guy who can’t grow facial hair, Movember can bring about feelings of inadequacy or envy.
Colleagues and acquaintances urging you to participate in the event don’t know your secret shame and you come off like a spoilsport when you politely decline. At least you have the sense not to grow a ratstache, though.
3. Unbridled joy
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For facial hair aficionados, it’s basically like Christmas and you walk around with heart-shaped eyes for the month.
Ah, bliss.
4. Frustration
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On the other hand, if you’re not a beard fan and your significant other proposes participating in it, you will have to begrudgingly support him and possibly put up with beard rash.
5. Nausea
Deep down, you know it’s all for a worthy cause and you want to support it, but you can’t help it.
The sight of this just makes you feel ill.
6. Irritation
If you’re a year-round beard owner, the relentless stream of, “Are you doing Movember?” can do your head in. You’re not a blow in like them. You’re committed to the beard cause year round.
Educate yourself.
7. Resentment
Repeated pleas for donations can lead to a smidge of resentment. Especially when it’s sort of a lazy exercise.
8. Regret
And if you’re doing Movember, you may grow to regret it and wish you had chosen something easier. Like a marathon, for instance.
Godspeed, everyone.
