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Dublin: 17 °C Thursday 20 June, 2013

9 ideas for non-boob-related Club Orange ads

What will Club Orange do if the breasts get banned? We’ve looked at other potential directions.

This could be a thing of the past.
This could be a thing of the past.
Image: Screen grab via YouTube

POOR OLD CLUB Orange are in the headlines again, after the ASAI banned the latest instalment in their groundbreaking exploration of the fact that Oranges Are Like Boobs.

But here at Daily Edge, we don’t like to see a company in trouble. So we’ve done some highly scientific market research, via Twitter, to answer that crucial question: What IS it that people like about Club Orange?

Turns out there are a number of other potential directions for their marketing men (and women, right? Tell us there are some women involved) if the breast ads become a mere mammary memory.

This one’s on us, ad agencies: 9 non-boob-related pitches to deliver at your next meeting with the Club Orange execs.

9 ideas for non-boob-related Club Orange ads
1 / 9
  • 1. It's There When You Haven't Got Any Teabags

    A friend in need, etc.
  • 2. It Reminds You Of Dirty Bath Water, But In A Good Way

    Obviously.
  • 3. Its Merits Cannot Be Expressed In Human Language

    As Extreme would have said: More Than Words.
  • 4. It Will Give You That Chemically Glide

    That's a good thing, right? I'm seeing an emo band in the advert.
  • 5. 'MMMMMM'

    Simple.
  • 6. It Will Make Your Grandchildren Like You

    The insecurities of grandmothers = the advertising manager's secret weapon.
  • 7. '>'

    For the tech sector.
  • 8. It Will Make You Feel Superior To English People

    As if you needed any help with that.
  • 9. It's The Sex

    Wait, are we back where we started?

Read: Advertising standards body: No, you can’t look at Club Orange’s naughty bits>

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Comments (73 Comments)

  • But it’s ok for semi naked men to sell Diet Coke?

    Right so….

    Reply
    • Not every female falls for that Diet Coke bullcrap adverts, I get a dreadful case of rolling eyeballs when I see them ;)

      Reply
    • Since when are they semi-naked? I’ve never seen a semi-naked diet coke ad.

      Besides which, no, that’s not ok either.

      Reply
    • Oops, I got a dreadful case of roving eyeballs when I saw Karens profile pic!
      Mea cupla!

      Reply
    • @ Stephanie to be fair there was the one with the window washing dude who was naked from the waist up:

      http://youtu.be/Z6Sre-wpGHE

      But yeah its just as meh, perhaps worse because its objectifying him and making the women look like a bunch of eejits to boot.

      Reply
    • There is many ads where men get portrayed as some sort of half wits, eg: Theres one where a woman is selling her dopey husband online. There is also another ad where a woman drinks something to turn her husband from being a regular joe into some sort of model lookalike with no top on. There are plenty of ads where men get portrayed as middle aged and dopey but no man ever complains, why? Cause we have a bit more cop on than to take the references either to heart or seriously!

      Reply
    • @Diarmaid you’re spot on with the two cliché men in women’s adverts, either a dumb eejit or silent eye candy and neither of those are fair either. I tell you what does make me really peeved though is seeing stuff targeted at kids that paints the Daddy as some goofball idiot, or if you know much of small kids these days its sometimes called the ‘Daddy Pig’ effect because of Peppa Pig and how the Dad is the butt of half the jokes.

      I genuinely love men, but not because I will either a.) turn into a brainless drooling spacer when they take off their shirt b.) watch them making a tool of themselves so I can feel smug and superior. So yeah I don’t get a kick out of advertising that plays to those clichés and it wouldn’t make me want to purchase a product or service.

      Reply
    • But that’s my point Karen and I appreciate where you are coming from, but alot of these complainants will be the very ones that do not see the problem with the reverse. I personally have no problem with the club orange ads or the ads I linked above, it’s advertising, it’s not real life and no one is hurt in the whole thing. I just feel some people make too much of a big deal about this. The world is turning into a very selfish, self centred and sterilised place where you can’t tie your shoe lace without insulting someone. Two oranges on a poster – “Oh Lord think of the Kids that see it!!!” – Daft IMO!

      Reply
    • Amanda 11/09/12 #

      Coke Zero… I don’t even need to explain that in comparison to the Diet Coke puppets

      Reply
  • Best ad’s ever..!!

    Reply
  • Hi folks, thanks for your comments. Just a reminder to steer clear of personal abuse – play nice! You can have a read of our full policy here: http://www.thejournal.ie/comments-policy/. Thanks!

    Reply
  • Love orange, that’s all.

    Reply
  • Let Denny bring out a range of Sausages using men’s c**ks as promotions. Would women still buy them or would men give out like feminists ….anyhow a pair of tits won’t Make me buy club orange or hunky dorys!

    Reply
  • I’m gay and I still think this ad kicks add (or boobs!) and if the id change it to balls I’d love it even more!

    Reply
  • The Club orange girls have their knockers..
    But i like them..

    Reply
  • Amanda 11/09/12 #

    Has anyone else seen the ad club orange did with Barbie and Ken lying in bed and above them it says “Some bits are crucial”? I thought it was brilliant but only seen it once :/

    Reply
  • Typical orange order.

    Reply
  • That’s two articles today Mary in which you’ve mentioned testicles.Have you got testicle envy or a testicle fetish?:

    Reply
  • Feminist whingers, theyre great ads, women with their tits out sells products , thats a fact.

    Reply
    • Spot on, I somehow don’t think we’d hear the same hypocrites moaning if the roles were reversed! “Feminists” of today are just enormous hypocrites!

      Reply
    • How dare you suggest what you just did Mary? Your comment drips with ignorance. Do you know me personally, no you don’t, so leave the grossly offensive comment in your head please! Your comment is actually a hundred times more offensive than that ad is, I hope that irony is not lost on you!

      Reply
    • Whoa! Mary!
      Porn’s on the internet now, didn’t you know!

      Reply
    • Do ye really not see how women could have a problem with this?

      Instead of being the dismissive “Wahey, TITS!” type lads for a minute. Just sit down for a bit and really think about it.

      Reply
    • Nobody held a gun to these women and made them do the ads, they’re using an asset which happens to be their sexuality. If any woman can honestly say they went through their entire life without flirting or showing a bit of skin to get something then i better get a helmet to protect me from the flying pigs.

      Also about women being portrayed as objects – womens magazines operated and edited by women , womens fashion shows with female designers and model casting agents have done more to destroy womens image and self worth than these ads ever could, its not the tits out club orange ads making little girls anorexic.

      Reply
    • Stephanie, before you cast aspersion on someone because they hold a certain point of view, please take a deep breath and realise that just because I do not have a problem with this ad, it DOES NOT make me some stone age man who screams “whaey tits” as you would put it! Men have been sexualised for years – look at the way Bressie was written about by the likes of Fiona Looney, look at the diet coke ads, look at womens magazines etc etc etc yet now cause two fecking oranges are put on a poster we have all the do gooder feminists crying spilt milk! Get over yourselves, it’s advertising, it’s supposed to generate a reaction. Did I mention it’s two oranges?

      Reply
    • @littlejim

      yeah showing my age there!

      Reply
    • Ok Stephanie, I’ve given the subject great consideration and I have reached one conclusion…………….Wahey TITS!

      Reply
    • So Mary, you shunted my comment did you? Should I attempt to get you removed (or your comment) for offending me now should I? Your comment was absolute offensive and insulting bile to any man with half a brain and you expect no repercussions yet we’re all supposed to accept your self righteous whinge about two fecking oranges on a poster! Good stance there Mary, very mature!

      Reply
    • didn’t know there was censorship on these boards…

      @Diarmuid, my post was not even addressed to you, but you jumped right in there. Bit freudian of you if I may say so.

      Reply
    • @Diarmuid, cool down your temper man, I did not shunt your comment, mine was removed as well.

      Go and take a chill pill before you have a heart attack.

      Reply
    • No heart attacks here Mary, thanks for giving me medical advice, I just merely have little patience for uninformed hypocrites. Just as you weren’t addressing me supposedly, Club Orange are neither using your oranges or want your custom with their ads so why are you getting offended? More irony from Mary eh!?

      Reply
    • I fear for the future of our race when ppl like you think it’s ok to tell someone they are going to get cancer because you hide behind anonymity! When you log off your pseudo name please take a good long look in the mirror. Your comments are disgusting!

      Reply
    • @Diarmuid

      this is my last ever post to you I promise, I don’t think your blood pressure can take much more.

      Do you remember the sketch in Fr Ted about perspective? Ted was trying to explain to Dougal why the cow that was far away looked as small and the cow that was near was big?

      Perspective Diarmuid, get some.

      Goodbye.

      Reply
  • Gerard 11/09/12 #

    I love breasts, that is all

    Reply
  • When I see a Milk add with Cows and it makes me want Milk – does that imply I have a Cow Fetish

    Reply
  • why not photoshop a pair of testicles where the boobs should be, see if that increases sales?

    Reply
  • Its an awful advert to watch as a woman – I sat through it in the cinema before seeing Ted and felt really creeped out. If it was actually funny I wouldn’t be bothered by it at all, I’m not shy of a good boob joke and I’m particularly fond of my own set of beauties! But its just an advert repeating over and over the single notion that boobs = the best bit andseeing beautiful women being reduced down to / valued for a singular part of their bodies just isn’t nice at the bset of times, even more annoying when its for a soft drink – wtf? That’s why even normal moderate (ie non feminazi) boob loving females like me feel icked out by it.

    Reply
    • Well said. Sitting in a dark cinema with a load of lads guffawing around me while drooling over women, who seem to have been served up like a can of Club Orange, before the Dark Knight was very creepy.

      Reply
    • Karen you went to see Ted, presumably laughed and yet found an ad about women squeezing oranges to make a drink offensive…… Ok, right, I actually don’t know where to start now to be honest!

      Reply
    • @ Diarmaid

      Actually I saw Ted twice, and yes I laughed loads and utterly loved it. I tend to have a very inappropriate sense of humour and tbh at times its more than even my husband and our ‘bloke’ friends can handle :p But Ted was actually hilariously funny and Mila Kunis was more than a pair of tits in it trying to make the male audience associate positively with a drink – so there’s no comparison between the movie and the advert other than the principal target audience demographic. And fwiw: its the tits=best bits that bothers me, not squeezing oranges :)

      Reply
    • I saw it before Ted as well and both my wife and I found it hilarious. I guess it may offend the prudish amongst us but then it just makes it even more fun to be honest. The diet coke guy is still taking his top off cause men can see the funny side to it and don’t have to complain that women are ‘objectifying’ men. Its just fun.

      Reply
    • Nydon 11/09/12 #

      OK, maybe this post is helping me to get what the problem is for women. Was the feeling you got (do you think) something like what a father, uncle, brother would feel if something was shown before a children’s movie which suggested that all “strange men” are potential child abductors paedophiles ? An unfair and demeaning tag that men would have more familiarity with and one that has a detrimental effect on men’s lives?

      Reply
    • @Nydon

      I see where you are going with the comparision, its not quite on a par because not all men are paedo predators so while its something you might dread being associated with, but its not actually a part of who/what you are. However all women do actually have breasts of some sort during their life, the advert suggests that’s the ‘best bits’ and that’s quite an awful thing as a person; that no matter how educated, funny, cultured, loving, successful (or whatever other standard we hold ourselves to) we are, it doesn’t matter cause its all about the tits in the end.

      It’d be like an advert that tells women repeatedly what matters about a man in the size of what’s in his pants or the veracity of his little swimmers, so buy this unrelated drink because sure you all love a good willy and some fertile sperm. Men are more than that, and I don’t think any of the men I care about would enjoy being the butt of an advert that reduces them to a single body part – esp when its not even a fecking funny advert.

      Reply
    • Nydon 11/09/12 #

      @ Karen Gillen
      “It’d be like an advert that tells women repeatedly what matters about a man is the size of what’s in his pants….” Ahh but there’s the problem… men have never experienced that for a prolonged time so we generally don’t see it as a real problem! And besides, it could only ever be a problem for the tiny minority of guys who don’t measure up ;). Last part in jest obviously but it illustrates a (admittedly generalised) psychological distinction between the sexes: Individual men generally assume they are above, outside, better than etc. – unless PROVEN otherwise while women generally tend to do the opposite.
      How often have you had to prove a man wrong and convince a woman she is right?

      Reply
  • Wohaa i see diddys

    Reply
  • I’m actually embarrassed that the marketing departments for two Irish companies chose the cliched and outdated route of ‘sex sells’ to market their products, and the juvenile focus of them both were women’s boobs! Sad and unimaginative

    Reply
  • Tricia G 12/09/12 #

    Even before I read this I’d stopped buying Club Orange cos of this stupid ad. Like women don’t have enough media out there objectifying them. I don’t need a fecking soft drink telling me that our t!ts are the “best bits” about us. Yeah, cheers, cos I’d not noticed already what with the nonsense reality shows and juvenile comments on forums like this.

    Reply
  • Great ads. i still don’t drink Club Orange though.

    Reply
  • I don’t take much notice of the crap ads .. one way or the other … and that’s really it .. I don’t care if they are sexist, male or female … but what I do take offence to is, how lazy they are … lazy ads are ads that play on stereo types and clichés … but these advertising guys and girls are not all to blame. I know form a little bit of insider experience that the clients drive some of these god dam stupid ideas. When a client, like fanta, chooses this kind of ad its because they want it…at the end of the day you cant sell a client and ad they don’t want to buy ??…

    Reply
  • It’s just advertising , and a big part of it is to get recognition and chatter on forums and in pubs etc , that’s worked well for Club and Hunky Dory etc as evidenced even on the discussion here , remember there’s literally thousands of messages a day trying to get attention fir brands , and to get into the public discussion through any means possible will be judged a marketing success, but folks when getting on the moral high horse please put into context , it’s advertising , that’s all.

    Reply
  • let’s face it boys it naff all to do with orange and female form a lot of envious washed up bats had a problem with a good lookin girl in I stress a slightly suggestive pose and chucked their toys out of their pram pure jealousy nothing more

    Reply

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