NO, REALLY. IT definitely starts tomorrow.
Um, or maybe the next day, not sure yet, got quite a lot of food to get through here.
You’re surrounded by an ocean of empty packets
Every time you shift position on the couch, you dislodge another raft of empty crisp packets.
You’ve raised your junk standards
There’s so much delicious loot in the house that you’ve become de-sensitised to it. At a normal time of the year, you’d be happy with a packet of Tayto. Delighted in fact. Now it’s fancy crisps, Pringles or nothing.
Face it, pal. You’re spoiled.
Your Christmas clothes are beginning to pinch
And you only got them a week ago.
You’ve just refused a Quality Street or Rose
Unthinkable at any other time of year. It MUST be the festive season. You’ve just REFUSED a sweet.
The thought of turkey makes you feel ill
You’ve lost all concept of meal times
Chocolate for breakfast? AND JUST WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO STOP ME?
Your last 10 updates on social media are all about food
Pictures, statuses, tweets… #Food, #food, #food.