Hello hello..is is that the internet…

hello operator, I’d like to reverse charges

Hello 1850 69 69 69, Sexy Daddy speaking !

Feeling lonely? Lonely politicians in your area are waiting for your call now!! 1850-E-N-D-A-L-A-N-D where your imagination can run wild.

€1.40 per minute. Texts €1 per message received. Endaland is operated by FineGay ltd and terms and conditions apply. Endaland is regulated by the IMF/EU/ECB. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. Requires willpower and limited knowledge of Achill Irish.

“So you’re offering us a tenner for the Cliff of Moher Mr Chinese Vice-President ? DEAL ! …….. “

We have decided to make a special effort for lent this year. I am giving up cigarettes, Minister Gilmore is giving up alcohol and Minister Varadkar is giving up skateboarding.

Bertie, you were dead right! The punters believe any old shite! I just keep saying I’m blue in the face cuts cuts cuts!!!!!

“…Yes i know that Fionnuala but he’s got his hand on my leg…and I kinda like it…”

If you’re single, or even if you’re not, some of Ireland’s hottest Taoiseachs are waiting for your call now…..

What did your wan say? A Megane for how much?!!

” do another one Enda” “yea do another one Taoiseach ”
Ok! Ok !
Ring ring ring!
“hello is that Dereck Chisora ? Wana fight ?…. Loser!!!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Hello! Hello! Can I speak to Mr Butts! First name Seymour ! Ha ha ha
That’s a great one Taoiseach ! Can I have a go now.

Why yes! I am a little tea-pot, short and stout!

Bertie my old mate – how much should I ask these guys beside me for? What was the norm in your day?

Angela, you can stick your money up your arse. We’re China’s bitch now!

Hello, I want to vote for Micheal Healy-Rae……..

Hello, Bishop Brennan…… I’m going to kick you up the arse.

Gay we’ve discussed this! It was a one-off, I’m married!

Deal or No Deal “hello is this the banker I want to make a deal”

Give up our unvouched expenses? Angela, you’re such a kidder!

Sorry Batman, even you can’t help us now!

Sell sell sell.
Sell the whole f#%#ing lot

“Hello, I’d like to speak to the Yoghurt!”

Is that Aerlingus ticket sales department? yeah I’d like to buy another return flight to New York for yet another shopping spree.

Well Helga I’m wearing a suit shirt tie and sensible shoes you must be frozen sitting there in your lace panties.

Ah who gives a shite? Look at the head on him.. I’m just gonna print the picture out so I can burn it. To hell with the caption!

11-8-11 billion.

He’s calling specsavers, so he too can see us getting rode by the IMF and ECB.

“Yes Angela, the plan worked! We’ve taxed the hell out of workers, and slashed benefits for the poor that none of the feckers can afford the bus fare up to Da Big Smoke to protest. Ingenius Herr Merkel!!!”

Hello michael, yeah put it ALL on red, no, wait, put it all on black, no the red definitely the red…. how did we do with the €500 million each way on the 3.30 in wincanton? I’ve a deadly tip for the dogs in thurles tonight by the way….

Hello dumb & stupid department, stupid speaking. No dumb is out today. Hello dumb & stupid department, stupid speaking

Wassssuuuuuuupppppppppppp

Hello Blueface. Are you the fella with the Bluetooth ?

Lowrey is that you? I am with the lads here and they are delighted with all you have done for them regarding their mobile business. They wanted this to be the 1st call as you managed to get it over the line on time and within budget. They call you Jesus the miracle worker. I know how modest you are but you simply must take credit when you managed to alter the tenders and bypass the legislation to suit them. They want to know which Swiss account you need the few bob lodged to?

Hello is that the English F A ?
Did you get my C V ?

1850 ENDA Oh yes , I’m sitting here with nothing on , now what’s your fantasy!!!!!!( calls cost €10000 per minute , you may be charged more from mobiles)

Yes, of course my underwear is for sale Herr Merkal. They are of no national interest, or so the wife tell me.

Hello…Vice President? Operation “Chinese Takeaway” is a go!

Should that now read http://WWW.BAREFACE.IE ?

No Leo trolls live under bridges, tolls are collected for crossing them!

Hi Queenie ! Remember me? I’m your Taoiseach ……. Beep beep beep beep

Go on out a that, Angela, you Do know me.

“No… No…. No…. Vincent (Browne) we don’t need another bailout I promise!” (chuckles in background with fellow ministers)

“Hello? Injury Lawyers4u? Yeah there’s this Chinese lad I wanna sue, he’s got bags of money………………I dunno, we’ll say he nicked my calf or something. You’re the lawyer you sort it out……………….about 20 billion”

What do you mean I have charisma baby

Himself cause nobody would ring a liar

Enda …Ah jaysus Ming I said 8ish where are ya ?…….

Ming…. Relax Enda for fckssake I’m in a taxi.

Enda….. Right right… Hurry up tho’ will ya… & remember sing dumb if happy txts ya I’ve a pain in me ar*e listening to his sh*tetalk….

“Honestly lads I never lie.The bloody phone is stuck to me ear…”

hello noonan we are going to tax the people for the air they breath.they are not get going to get anything for nothing anymore

It was the Samaritans…..they hung up on me !!!

What do you mean Jim’ll Fix It is dead! Who’s gona fix it now?

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye…….. are ya gone? ……… That Merkel one!

Whats with all the red thumbs? maybe Enda was tipping YFG off about this thread.

Enda: Eh Merkel ye so its a go we become a part of eh Germany if we give ye €50 billion right?
Merkel: Yes Enda and Sarkozy will give you another pat on the head.
Enda: Grand job!

Hello Eamon, its Enda here, Enda Kenny, Your Taoiseach! Anyway… you’d want to see the size of the mobile phone that I’m calling you from, it’s enormous! Just like Rabittes head! Get the points in, I’ll have 5!

Ahoy hoy sailor.
Unfortunately that is true, I am from Mayo.
I spoke with the Chinese vice president and plans are now a foot to burn the place to a cinder.

Enda: Eh Merkel ye I do love you, its they you talk down to me, I like Dominance and submission.
Merkel: Yes Enda and Sarkozy likes it too.
Enda: Yes, Physical contact is not a necessity, and it can even be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email or other messaging system. In other cases, it can be intensely physical.
Merkel: Enda will you shut up?
Enda: But you said you loved me.
Merkel: I am your Mistress and you will do what I want you to do at any time, get it.
Enda: Yes Mistress.
Merkel: I going now to talk will the big boys in Euro land, so shut up, end this call.
Enda: Yes Mistress.

Yes,that’s right. A one-way ticket to Rio de Janeiro with extra heavy baggage. And send the invoice to Leinster House.

Dial M for……MERKEL!

Haha this jobs great,sure I haven’t a clue what I’m doin but I’m getting paid a ridiculous amount for it,great fecking job!!

He’d probably been talking to Angela Merckel. “hello Angela, I can’t make it to Schloss Meseberg in Brandenburg tomorrow because my country is in deep shit as well as the other euro zone countries, including yours. Why should it be that always everyone else must move and come to you rather than you coming towards the others. Who the f**k you think you are! I would be glad if you could make it over here in Dublin, together with the other Chief of States, so that we can discuss about the future of the European Union and the long term vision for Europe. Cheers Angela, take it easy buddy” ;-)

Howerya Sarkozy ? Any chance of another pat on the head ?

Cloud phone shystem you shay….move it Mayoooo we’ve lotsh of cloudsh down there!!!!

That PenPal thing really took off. E-mail is the future no doubt about it

What do you mean Jim’ll Fix It is dead, who’s gona fix it now?

0 for sure I have a return ticket to china , I even found the begging bowl , we might get a few bob and we could pass it on to to the germans.

Maybe he is talking about where the axe will fall next. Or to the pope about his plans for the future of the embassy in the Vatican a hot topic these days.

Now are you sure that none of my personal details have been compromised from your phone service website?

I know: Enda’s laughing into the phone:

END’A:— Listen @mcula , you little sissy fuck. We’re looking at a photo of you here we found online on our laptops at the office here; laughing the seat out of our FG pants.

~-laughter ensues- lounder and louder before calming to hear the Leader~~

END’A:— Now: listen to me you little queer fu_k; if you don’t quit ‘the Netherlands’ and your Dutch new-found friends, and get back here to Connacht to your mammy’n daddé like a good fella; … and ah, if you don’t give-up all that talk with the European Commission and d’€uro Ombudsman about “legitimate medical-products” that compete with ours (and ‘our’ interests are your parents’ interests, if you ever want to see them alive again, you little fu_k, a-har-a-har)…. well then you little shit : guess just who we’ll be sending this photograph of you to? http://mcula.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/imag0009.jpg
You little shit’yo, if I go down t’yo!
~):(~

RE: you islet of savage fu_s: http://t.co/UgnXqRV2
321 years, and counting. Springtime offensive, anyone?
Yeah, I’ll bet you do.
3-2-1-_ ~~ you don’t have to be autistic like me to know the
next figure in that series; sinister Shortfall.
—

So you want a loan of how much ?????

Máire Whelan! I’m blue (in the) face dot ie tell you we don’t need a referendum! Ha! Ha! D’ye like it lads! Blue face! Y’get it?! I’m gerat I am….

Jayzuz Howlin, I’m “BLUE in da FACE” from tellin ya… Ya can’t be doin’ dat ! And ye come down to me then cryin, cryin over spillt milk, ya, ‘where is it, where can i get me stuff back, wer’s me state assets gone?’
Sur how’m i supposed to know? Ha? Jayzuz lads, ya may as well open the front door for dem and le’em in. ya may as well make tae for dem!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8k1d8uX9Gw

“Hello Mr. Ahern is your fridge running…… ?”

To Miss Piggy: Trust me, I am much better than Kermit’s green skin with my new blueface.

‘Hello… Benedict?
You’ll be blue in the tooth when you see this phone I’m ringing you from.
Who’s your Daddy?’

He’s only sorting out the party for later so he’s on the fone getting the girls ready for Ex-IMF chief Strauss-Kahn whose very picky on he’s hoes they got to be cheap and have a mother in the game

Fuck off Bertie! Ya want your job back? *Enda shaped hole left in his wake*

Hello Sydney are you alone? Scream!

Hey Angela! Did you hear the one about the German banks investments in Greece?

Howya goin Lusty Lucy, do ya want to get cozy with my nama?

Looks like Blue-face got Tangoed..

Hewow woom service? VP Xi ping choo choo, ten flied lice and ten spwing wolls pleeez.

Its Noel Edmonds on the other end, Enda’s moonlighting as the banker

“That’s great when will I take over that EU job?
Great sure they will pay all the bills and I’ll tell you how to deal with those Martin and Adams mob “

You can talk until you are blue in the face, I am not ………

look whose on the other end of the line…
http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/die-hard-with-a-vengeance-original.jpg

this basterding economy’s not for turning, was that second planet branson shite for real, you got a ticket source?

Is it worth even worth commenting on these issues do people really care. Maybe Enda is taking to the highest bidder for the sale of state assets.

Is it worth even commenting on these issues do people really care. Maybe Enda is taking to the highest bidder for the sale of state assets.

‘hello caller,.., you’d like 35k pay rise too, don’t make me laugh.’

“Hello Nokia? I’m sending back that new fangled 6310, the updated ministerial secure phone system the IT contractors just installed is the business”

“Sorry theres no speaker on this phone and the lads cant hear ye. Can you shout a little louder so they can hear what youre saying? Whats that……he says he’s looking for a job lads

Hello. Is it me your looking for?

Operator, give me the number for 999.

Gobshite!!!