Will I be helping you up Enda, or will you be pulling me down?

“Sorry Enda, but where is the brown envelope?”
“Hang on, before I shake, confirm what expenses I dont have to vouch for?”

The little people are down there Eamonn.

Does every photo enda appear in make him look like an awkward fool who hasn’t quite figured out how to use his body

Mine comes out to here

NOW EAMON,
There’s a dress code in here, you’ve done great so far but the Spiky shoes don’t work so well in here, its the wooden floors like.

Hang on Enda, I don’t know where that hand has been!

“And you must be Eamons Guardian Angel. Very nice to meet you…”

Enda: “When I start to run, I start by putting my right arm forward, because, y’know, it’s good for the momentum, and after that I move me left leg forward. I was showing ould Sarko how I do it, and he said I was great and should have gone for the Olympics, so now I’m in the gym five nights a week…”
Eamonn: “Enda, what the jaysus? Ye never said I’d have to actually listen to you to actually claim expenses!”

For God sakes man pass me the baton………I promised those fools I was a safe pair of hands

Enda: at least your tie is the right colour Eamonn, Varadkar will sort you out with a shirt when yer man turns off the camera

‘… and you take as much as you can with this hand.’

Aw sur we have great craic, Sarkozy showed me this one quick pull my finger

“Stop laughing, I said its athletes foot I have not athletes hand, now shake it”

“Well hello there Michael D! What brings you out of your Áras?”

“Ah go on Eamonn, rub off me for luck”

I should be the Leader Enda.. I’d run rings around ye..

Enda: So you’re interested in running are you?

“You want to join Fine Gael eh!, grand, just hand over the ‘become a blueshirt’ charge”

“Welcome to the dark side Luke…er Eammon.”

Seriously Eamonn, Can you smell Merkel off my hand? I’ve washed it loads of times and it just won’t go away

Enda: “Ara, sure don’t mind that picture of misery there on the ground! It’s only another one of those dumb tax payers that voted for me.
Mind you, he’s payin a lot more tax since we got in!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!”

Put it there ya flying hure ya

“And this one is called a backhander…”

This is how the robot dance goes

Waxworks!!! The Future!!!

Here Eamon, let me show how a pro takes money out of people’s pockets.

“let’s put our heads together and see if we can’t get a handful of people to run for the next election”

no thanks, i know where that hand has been

“did you say the performance enhancing drugs were in this pocket Eamonn? Good man yerself, The whole cabinet needs lift. Except Phil Hogan, that spinner is flying from the fumes off the septic tank”

Take my hand, don’t be afraid
I’m gonna prove every word I say
I’m advertising love for free
So you can place your ad with me

Hey little thing let me light your candle
Cos momma, I’m sure hard to handle now…

you put your left hand in, right hand out…

…and with this hand you just keep pushing down on the little people .

“As long you do a good handshake….. not a poof one….”

” and now Eamon let me show you the secret Fine Gael Nob-head handshake !

“…and this is how you do the robot.”

I know you were a world champion champion runner but how are you at thumb wars. I’m all Ireland champion, sure I’ve had the whole country under my thumb for the last year.

Go on, Pretend. Richard will get his chance.

If you can count the number of fingers on my hand you can have the Finance portfolio.

Don’t face the public, stand behind me. We call this the 360 U-Turn plan!!

Don’t worry enda I won’t grab your neck sure go on you grab mine. Not there enda my neck my neck.

Be alert now Eamonn – Ireland needs lerts

“now eamo put it there we will get rid of the veruca trouble maker in castle knock

If you can count the number of fingers on my hand you can have the Finance portfolio

“I opened my hand like this and all the money fell out”

“The money is up your sleeve… isn’t it”
“No No …. are you ready for this …… Eamonn …..TaDa ….. if you look over there you will see its in the German banks”

Go on, wan country, few different owners only a bit banjaxed.

i’m not shaking that look what happened to the people in roscommon that did last year!!!!

Enda: “Now come boy, don’t be another George Lee! Work the popularity, work the camera!”

Eammon: “So is this why you put me in the Senad as an Independant?”

Pull my finger!!!!

Err..Hate to tell you this Boss,but your fly is undone !!

You’re playing this blind game very well Eamon, well done lad.

Don’t be so disappointed that your son has broken your 4 minute mile record ! ! Tough luck ! ! Now gimme that brown envelope for letting you in here ! !

Let me introduce you to our president…..!

go on ramp pull my finger, it’ll be has croix.

It was more a tap on the back of my head like this, rather than a pat on the head.

I hope you work out better than the muppet gay mitchell.

no eamonn i am certain that is my left hand!

Ehh Stephen Roche?..eh no wait I know this eh…Barry McGuigan…..no its em Ronnie Delaney??

Oh emm erm Sonya O’Sullivan?

Seriously Eamonn, Sarkozi is about this height…

This makes a great change from all those hurlers on the ditch we usually get not to mention those dead head teachers

Watcha got in yer pockets Coghlan?

Here’s your brief for the remainder of this Senad term Senator Coghlan.