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Dublin: 9 °C Friday 29 March, 2024
Ice Ice Baby

A Definitive Ranking of Ice Lollies: From Worst to Best

Is your favourite in there?

TODAY IS WHAT Irish people might classify as a “glorious day”.

The perfect day for an ice lolly, you might say.

In honour of the glorious weather, we at DailyEdge.ie decided it was only fitting to rank the best ice lollies out there from best to worst.

Note: we have only considered ice lollies for the purposes of this post and the ratio of fruit-flavoured ice has to be higher than ice-cream. Sorry, Brunches.

9. Del Monte ice-cream

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Rule: frozen juice does not an ice lolly make.

Del Monte and Orange Maid are the kind of healthy ice lollies your Mam buys in the supermarket and tries to fob off on you under the pretence that you’re getting a summertime treat.

But you both know it’s just frozen orange juice. It’s not fooling anyone.

8. X Pop

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We’re going to be honest, reader. We’ve never had an X Pop.

It’s billed as an orange, strawberry, lemon and cola flavoured ice pop with a bubble gum- flavoured top covered in popping candy. Firstly, there are way too many flavours going on there for our liking and secondly, it is extremely phallic.

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Look at it.

*snigger*

7. Fruit Pastilles Lollies

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Fruit Pastilles Lollies should be the nicest ice lollies. An ice lolly that incorporates five fruity flavours onto one stick? Eh, sign us up!

Unfortunately, they’re just not reaching their full potential and they’ve got their flavours stacked all wrong.

Soz.

6. Solero

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The Solero might be tasty, sure, but it’s also just a fancy Super Split for people who like to “holiday” on the “riviera” or whatever.

5. Calippo

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Because nothing says summer quite like trying to coax a frozen ice lolly out of a cardboard tube before it melts.

Sure, it’s not glamorous, but the rewards are so, so good.

*wipes Calippo juice off chin*

4. Super Split

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The Super Split is humble. It has no notions about itself and it’s not trendy. “I’m just happy to be here” is the Super Split’s motto.

We’re happy you’re here, too, Super Split.

Keep doing what you’re doing.

3. Loop The Loop

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Lime, lemon and chocolate shouldn’t really work and yet it does, making the Loop The Loop somewhat of an Irish institution.

That said, it is not pleasing to the eye and has the same colour scheme as your Nan’s living room in 1973. Hardly summery now, is it?

2. Mr Freeze

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Controversial, we know.

For the nostalgia factor alone, though, Mr. Freeze deserves to be up here. Opening the wrapper with your teeth, chomping down on that sweet ice, eating one until your tongue goes blue — all our childhoods featured a Mr. Freeze at one point or another.

It also gets bonus points for being one of the few ice lollies to lend itself well to both eating and drinking, thanks to the plastic wrapper.

1. Twister

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It could only be one.

You know the heart eyes emoji? You can replicate that look in real life simply by stealing a glance of a Twister on a sunny day.

The green, white and pink swirly ice-cream stands head and shoulders above them all. Take a bow, Twister.

Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments.

8 ice pops you can make with actual booze > 

11 ice creams from an Irish childhood that must be brought back immediately >

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