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Friday 20 April, 2012

Humour

Column: On a ‘bold’ priest and his seditious message of love

20/04/12 5,830 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland tries to avoid being influenced by the arrival of a ‘maverick’ priest who wants him to be nice to gay people and for clerics to be able to marry.

Friday 13 April, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – on hairdryers, Big Ben Dunne and the Titanic ‘industry’

13/04/12 4,828 Views 9 Comments

This week, the (not) primate of All Ireland recalls the terrible events after Ardfillan won the county final: ““The whole team went into the dressing room, roaring and shouting like apes. Then they put on all the hair dryers…”

Sunday 8 April, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – The Easter epic

08/04/12 2,401 Views 4 Comments

What happens when two rival live Passion Plays collide? This and the other Easter Weekend happenings from the (not) Primate of All Ireland.

Friday 30 March, 2012

Cardinal Rules

Column: Cardinal Rules – On the household charge and the stranger at the door

30/03/12 4,961 Views 6 Comments

This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland and his pals worry about levies, escaped convicts… and spiked lemonade.

Friday 23 March, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – Our day with Mahon

23/03/12 4,462 Views 10 Comments

This week, the not Primate of All Ireland recounts the anguish of the Mahon report – especially the bit where he tried to download it.

Friday 16 March, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – The real Book of Patrick

16/03/12 3,263 Views 6 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland, shares some previously unpublished excerpts from a life of St Patrick… by his manservant Bran.

Friday 9 March, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On gay rights

09/03/12 3,205 Views 21 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland worries about the support of the Tories and Fianna Fáil for gay marriage but finds a new champion in a Scottish colleague – and relief in Winning Streak.

Friday 2 March, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On how Inkgate goes all the way to the top

02/03/12 4,095 Views 11 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland investigates the full extent of Inkgate – and finds out about Richard Bruton’s addiction to novelty erasers…

Friday 24 February, 2012

From TheJournal.ie Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – What NOT to do on your Lenten fast

24/02/12 4,931 Views 14 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland tracks his colleague’s ‘progress’ with his sponsored fast – including an awkward incident with a chocolate Swiss roll…

Friday 17 February, 2012

Cardinal Brady

Column: Cardinal Rules – On priests versus geeks

17/02/12 3,338 Views 16 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland went to a Reclaim the Faith Conference. It was all going to be suitably pious – until the hotel was double-booked with a sci-fi convention…

Friday 10 February, 2012

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – On closing the Vatican embassy

10/02/12 2,950 Views 7 Comments

The (not) Primate of All Ireland reflects on a difficult few days in which the Bishops battled over the right type of biscuit (and the closure of the Vatican embassy too).

Friday 3 February, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On cross-cultural exchange

03/02/12 1,965 Views No Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland and his colleagues ruminate on multicultural Ireland and embrace the “great big melting pot our little island has become”.

Friday 27 January, 2012

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On playing the blame game at Davos

27/01/12 3,962 Views 29 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us all the gossip from behind the scenes at the World Economic Forum where he was on the “non-tokenistic spiritual sub-committee”.

Friday 20 January, 2012

Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules – On the Undercover Bishop

20/01/12 879 Views 1 Comment

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is disappointed that RTÉ’s new show does not have “a vigilante bishop roaming the streets of LA dispensing ‘God’s justice’.”

Friday 13 January, 2012

Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules – On ‘pop’ culture 2012

13/01/12 4,218 Views 8 Comments

The (not) Primate of All Ireland readies himself for a year of cultural gems like Fr Gerry O’Shea’s one-man avant-garde production, ‘I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About, Sure Everything Is Grand’.

Friday 6 January, 2012

Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules – On January boot camp for the boys

06/01/12 3,533 Views 16 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland observes a morale-building exercise, complete with assault course and Dr James Reilly’s speech-giving techniques.

Saturday 31 December, 2011

Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules remembers 2011

31/12/11 2,371 Views 16 Comments

The Pope’s stunt double, liveblogging the British royal wedding, a politican and an inflatable penis – good times, my flock, good times.

Saturday 24 December, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – The Three Wise(ish) Men

24/12/11 2,994 Views 8 Comments

This Christmas Eve, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings his specially-extended version of the tale of The Three Wise Men… and an aubergine.

Friday 16 December, 2011

Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules – On the invasion of science

16/12/11 2,493 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland reflects on a difficult few days in which the clerics lost a Brother and almost gained a God particle.

Friday 9 December, 2011

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – On giving Brian Hayes a helping hand

09/12/11 3,483 Views 5 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland reflects on the needy and vulnerable of Ireland, including members of Government who now have to subsist on only several thousand euro a week…

Friday 2 December, 2011

From TheJournal.ie Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – on protecting yourself from financial catastrophe

02/12/11 3,831 Views 3 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland discusses real money, imaginary money and potential money – with the aid of a chicken, a puppy and a goat.

Friday 25 November, 2011

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – on hiring housekeepers

25/11/11 3,922 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland gets with the guidelines and indulges in a touch of “positive discrimination” when hiring for the clerical household.

Friday 18 November, 2011

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – on Occupy Jim Sheridan’s gaff

18/11/11 5,217 Views 7 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland is caught up in #Occupy fever – and decides to #Occupy Jim Sheridan’s €7,000-a-month rented house.

Friday 11 November, 2011

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – on ‘Endaism’ (ignoring the worst-case scenario)

11/11/11 808 Views 2 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland contemplates the usefulness of looking on the bright side. Incessantly.

Friday 4 November, 2011

Column

Column: Cardinal Rules – On using the Sunday Independent as his bible

04/11/11 1,396 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland finds that a certain article about “the gays” could become an “ideological springboard” for him and his clerical pals.

Friday 28 October, 2011

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – On Bertie Ahern vs Steven Seagal

28/10/11 1,197 Views 7 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland was torn between the Bertie interview and a Steven Seagal movie on TV – and learned that the two men are not as far apart as you would think…

Friday 21 October, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – Making sense of this crazy world

21/10/11 1,019 Views 8 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland copes with the break-up of the wholesome group Boyslife – and the reunion of the Stone Roses.

Friday 14 October, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – How to wave goodbye to the IMF

14/10/11 1,036 Views 17 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland rubbed shoulders with the likes of Bono, Enda Kenny, Eamon Gilmore and Gabriel Byrne to learn three very important things…

Friday 7 October, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – The Dana and Gay Mitchell wars

07/10/11 1,567 Views No Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to intervene when his troops split over supporting Gay Mitchell or Dana in the Presidential race. “Fr Ryan blacks out some of Gay’s teeth on a poster…”

Friday 30 September, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – There’s a guy outside my Tesco swears he’s Jesus

30/09/11 619 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has a house guest – a bearded young man who wears sandals and speaks in Biblical tones. It couldn’t be… could it?

Friday 23 September, 2011

Satire

Column: Cardinal Rules – on Sinn Fein’s presidential campaign

23/09/11 2,468 Views 41 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is greeted by the Martin McGuinness supporters – but it all goes terribly wrong…

Monday 19 September, 2011

Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – on the annual trip to Knock

19/09/11 1,236 Views 5 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland brings the priests on their annual pilgrimage to the Mayo shrine. But is one of his clerical flock tempted by a (not ‘Our’) Lady?

Friday 9 September, 2011

From TheJournal.ie Humour

Column: Cardinal rules – A day in the life…

09/09/11 925 Views 26 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland talks us through his typical day – it’s not all smiling at old ladies and driving around in the mini, you know.

Friday 2 September, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On keeping the FF dream alive…

02/09/11 420 Views 1 Comment

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland blesses a new hotel for old pal and ex-Fianna Fáil TD Mattie O’Moore – and learns a little about humility and the value of the JobBridge scheme.

Saturday 27 August, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On tour with Il Papa

27/08/11 824 Views 8 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland heads to Madrid to see his Holiness work the crowd and find his inner rock star.

Friday 19 August, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – A diocesan fiscal crisis

19/08/11 364 Views 8 Comments

The (not) Primate of All Ireland documents his efforts to make ends meet – with a little help from David Hasselhoff…

Friday 12 August, 2011

From TheJournal.ie Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – Gaybo for President?

12/08/11 1,895 Views 26 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland writes that (not) Bishop Brady is upset to discover that the man who hosted the ‘Bishop and the nightie’ debate could be running for the Áras.

Friday 5 August, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – Croagh Patrick for purists

05/08/11 1,881 Views 10 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland details the trials of the recent Reek Sunday – where fun has started to ruin the penitential tradition beloved of (not) Bishop Brophy.

Friday 29 July, 2011

From TheJournal.ie Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On defending Morrissey

29/07/11 821 Views 9 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to play peacekeeper in the terrible row over Morrissey: “an undisputed genius” or “a big mountain of stupid”?

Friday 22 July, 2011

Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – What happens in Lourdes, stays in Lourdes…

22/07/11 1,603 Views 10 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland embarks on the annual parish pilgrimage… but will everyone get home safely?

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