SOME PEOPLE JUST suck at the internet.
They are perfectly pleasant in real life, be they a close friend or work colleague, but faced with their online presence you want to firmly click the Escape button.
How can someone be so different online? How have they constructed this dire virtual persona that irks you so much?
We don’t know. It’s an unquantifiable formula, a perfect storm that combines to bring you the worst Facebook status updates of all time.
(PS, the genders are at random – don’t worry, both sexes are equal offenders in irritating social media stakes.)
Mr Switcheroo
People who can’t get their online persona straight with their real life personality. They either leave strangely effusive compliments on pictures or else snarky comments on statuses.
Would you ever say that to me in real life? No. So why do you think you can say it online?
Image: Flickr/SuperFantastic
Ms Celebrity Tweeter
These are people you used to hold in high esteem. Formerly respectable friends who earnestly tweet at celebrities.
What are they expecting here? How can your extremely intelligent friend think tweeting at Z-list reality TV stars is adding to their life?
Image: Flickr/Ed Yourdon
Ms Attention Seeker
That perfectly lovely girl you knew in school. Last time you met her out, she was so nice and even bought you a drink.
WHY DOES SHE DO IT?
Image: Flickr/Ed Yourdon
Mr Match Ruiner
You’re a sound guy. We get on. So please. Please.
Why did you post the result of the match up like that when you knew everyone was in work for it?
Image: Flickr/FailedImitator
Mr .@ Overuser
The easygoing guy you love to chat to down the pub is the worst offender for the aggressive Twitter trolling.
It’s one thing to pick fights online. It’s quite another thing to preface every tweet with a full-stop, so that your entire follower list can follow the sordid little tiff.
Image: Flickr/Ed Yourdon
And yet these people would never shout and roar at anyone in real life.
Keyboard warriors, eh?
Ms Paparazzi Imitator
We had a fun night out, didn’t we? We were busy with the intense work of having fun. So why did you check me in everywhere we went and how did you even manage to take 50 photographs of me?
Image: Flickr/Todd Huffman
Mr Passive Aggressive
You had to cancel on some plans with a mate. They were understanding about it in person, and you both promised to reschedule.
Next thing you see a status on their page giving out, rounded off with the superlatively snide hashtag #somepeople.
Sorry, what? Say it to our bleedin’ faces.
Image: Flickr/GaryKnight
What cool people in real life ruin your buzz online?
