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Dublin: 6 °C Saturday 25 May, 2013

ALL THE FROCKS: Oscars 2013, you beauty

Loads and loads of gowns. Millions of them.

LADIES OF HOLLYWOOD, there is this thing called colour. Hopefully you’ll all discover it by the next awards season.

Of course, you all looked grand last night but it was a bit Vera Wang bridal in places what with the whites, the nudes, the barely-there blushes and the metallics.

Shall we take a look?

ALL THE FROCKS: Oscars 2013, you beauty
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    Nicole Kidman looks like a bit of runny tarmac on a hot day.
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    Emmanuelle Riva is 86. Six years and eighty. Good woman.
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    Renee Zellweger. I have nothing to say about this really. Fine. Grand. Yeh.
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    Sandra Bullock always looks lovely, right?
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    I'd love to rent Sally Field for the day, as a second mammy or something. I reckon she'd be a good one to have in your life.
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    She fell. I can't believe she fell. Mixed reactions to the dress on Twitter. Mixed reactions in my head. Sometimes I was OK with it, sometimes I was yanking it up and giving evils to the puff.
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    But J-Law also deserves a close-up. Bloody hell, she's a ride.
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    Not sure if Jennifer Garner will be happy that her husband thanked Iran before her and then said their marriage was WORK. She was one of the best-dressed of the night in a COLOUR. It's Gucci and the back was divine.
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    Kristen Stewart does not HAVE to be a movie star. But she seems to like being miserable and that makes her miserable.
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    Queen Latifah. Is Queen her first name, like?
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    Anne Hathaway. Side boob. Pointy boob seams. So many problems.
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    Salma Hayek looking deadly as always. I don't think I've ever seen her look even slightly less than deadly. I'd love to catch her in the local chipper in her PJs some day.
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    Quvenzhane Wallis with her matching dog purses. How long do you think that phase will last?
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    Halle Berry asked Donatella Versace to dress her as a Bond girl, what with all the tributes. Mission accomplished, we reckon.
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    Look what you've started Angelina...
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    Jennifer Hudson in Roberto Cavalli, the Bet Lynch of fashion.
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    Did they have sale of metallic material in the local Hickeys, Naomi Watts?
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    Helen Hunt's dress is from H&M. Yes, H&M. She paired it with 700,000 dollars worth of diamonds. As you do.
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    Catherine Zeta-Jones. Came as an Oscar.
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    This reminds me of a line from 10 Things I Hate About You..'You can be overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?'
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    Jennifer Aniston said she felt like a princess. And she looked lovely and all.
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    That could do with a yank up Olivia Munn.
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    I can't look at Amanda Seyfried without thinking of her weather-predicting breasts. (Mean Girls reference for those of you lost).
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    OLD HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR from Jessica Chastain. I have pale skin but it never looks like that.
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    Norah Jones still bringing snoozing to the nations.
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    Among the best-dressed was Kerry Washington...
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    Melissa McCarthy and her big hair.
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    Octavia Spencer also went to the Hickeys sale for white and metallic fabrics.
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    Sherrie Shepherd in white.
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    We can't say it's boring anyway, Samantha Barks!
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    The dress didn't photograph as nice as it looked on TV so here's a photo of Reese in all her wondrous glory. I think I crushed on her more last night than on J-Law or Ben's beard. That's big.
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    Here's the full picture but I still won't hear a word against her.
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    Claudio Miranda's daughter Sofia was giving Quv a run for her money in th cute-kid stakes.
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    Colour! Yay, go Jane!!!
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    Charlize Theron was described as a thoroughbred by E! Seems fitting.
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    Zoe Saldana was d'mother's pick of the night. Can't argue too much with that.
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    Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are going to have their baby in London. They were both very cute about it.
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    Helena Bonham Carter wears something Helena Bonham Carter would wear to milk the cows.
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    Amy Adams, this would be lovely if it were in a COLOUR.
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    Gloria Reuben. Yep, that's grand.
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    Shirley Bassey was in fine form.
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    Oops how did you get in here again?
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    Actress Jacki Weaver wore two million dollars worth of jewels.
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    Nice work from Kerry Washington.
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    A petit princess is Kristen.
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    Do you reckon the Miranda family are in a face off with...(see next slide)
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    ...these folk.

Liveblog: The Oscars 2013 ceremony as it happened

FROCK-WATCH: Oscars 2013 Red Carpet as it happened

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