The 85th Academy Awards
Nicole Kidman looks like a bit of runny tarmac on a hot day.
The 85th Academy Awards
Emmanuelle Riva is 86. Six years and eighty. Good woman.
The 85th Academy Awards
Renee Zellweger. I have nothing to say about this really. Fine. Grand. Yeh.
The 85th Academy Awards
Sandra Bullock always looks lovely, right?
The 85th Academy Awards
I'd love to rent Sally Field for the day, as a second mammy or something. I reckon she'd be a good one to have in your life.
The 85th Academy Awards
She fell. I can't believe she fell. Mixed reactions to the dress on Twitter. Mixed reactions in my head. Sometimes I was OK with it, sometimes I was yanking it up and giving evils to the puff.
The 85th Academy Awards
But J-Law also deserves a close-up. Bloody hell, she's a ride.
The 85th Academy Awards
Not sure if Jennifer Garner will be happy that her husband thanked Iran before her and then said their marriage was WORK. She was one of the best-dressed of the night in a COLOUR. It's Gucci and the back was divine.
The 85th Academy Awards
Kristen Stewart does not HAVE to be a movie star. But she seems to like being miserable and that makes her miserable.
The 85th Academy Awards
Queen Latifah. Is Queen her first name, like?
The 85th Academy Awards
Anne Hathaway. Side boob. Pointy boob seams. So many problems.
The 85th Academy Awards
Salma Hayek looking deadly as always. I don't think I've ever seen her look even slightly less than deadly. I'd love to catch her in the local chipper in her PJs some day.
The 85th Academy Awards
Quvenzhane Wallis with her matching dog purses. How long do you think that phase will last?
The 85th Academy Awards
Halle Berry asked Donatella Versace to dress her as a Bond girl, what with all the tributes. Mission accomplished, we reckon.
The 85th Academy Awards
Look what you've started Angelina...
The 85th Academy Awards
Jennifer Hudson in Roberto Cavalli, the Bet Lynch of fashion.
The 85th Academy Awards
Did they have sale of metallic material in the local Hickeys, Naomi Watts?
The 85th Academy Awards
Helen Hunt's dress is from H&M. Yes, H&M. She paired it with 700,000 dollars worth of diamonds. As you do.
The 85th Academy Awards
Catherine Zeta-Jones. Came as an Oscar.
The 85th Academy Awards
This reminds me of a line from 10 Things I Hate About You..'You can be overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?'
The 85th Academy Awards
Jennifer Aniston said she felt like a princess. And she looked lovely and all.
The 85th Academy Awards
That could do with a yank up Olivia Munn.
The 85th Academy Awards
I can't look at Amanda Seyfried without thinking of her weather-predicting breasts. (Mean Girls reference for those of you lost).
The 85th Academy Awards
OLD HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR from Jessica Chastain. I have pale skin but it never looks like that.
The 85th Academy Awards
Norah Jones still bringing snoozing to the nations.
The 85th Academy Awards
Among the best-dressed was Kerry Washington...
The 85th Academy Awards
Melissa McCarthy and her big hair.
The 85th Academy Awards
Octavia Spencer also went to the Hickeys sale for white and metallic fabrics.
The 85th Academy Awards
Sherrie Shepherd in white.
The 85th Academy Awards
We can't say it's boring anyway, Samantha Barks!
The 85th Academy Awards
The dress didn't photograph as nice as it looked on TV so here's a photo of Reese in all her wondrous glory. I think I crushed on her more last night than on J-Law or Ben's beard. That's big.
The 85th Academy Awards
Here's the full picture but I still won't hear a word against her.
The 85th Academy Awards
Claudio Miranda's daughter Sofia was giving Quv a run for her money in th cute-kid stakes.
The 85th Academy Awards
Colour! Yay, go Jane!!!
The 85th Academy Awards
Charlize Theron was described as a thoroughbred by E! Seems fitting.
The 85th Academy Awards
Zoe Saldana was d'mother's pick of the night. Can't argue too much with that.
The 85th Academy Awards
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are going to have their baby in London. They were both very cute about it.
The 85th Academy Awards
Helena Bonham Carter wears something Helena Bonham Carter would wear to milk the cows.
The 85th Academy Awards
Amy Adams, this would be lovely if it were in a COLOUR.
The 85th Academy AwardS
Gloria Reuben. Yep, that's grand.
The 85th Academy Awards
Shirley Bassey was in fine form.
The 85th Academy Awards
Oops how did you get in here again?
The 85th Academy Awards
Actress Jacki Weaver wore two million dollars worth of jewels.
The 85th Academy Awards
Nice work from Kerry Washington.
The 85th Academy Awards
A petit princess is Kristen.
The 85th Academy Awards
Do you reckon the Miranda family are in a face off with...(see next slide)
The 85th Academy Awards
...these folk.
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